
Posted originally on the Archive_of_Our_Own at https://archiveofourown.org/
works/11490156.
  Rating:
      Explicit
  Archive Warning:
      Underage
  Category:
      M/M
  Fandom:
      Hockey_RPF
  Relationship:
      Patrick_Kane/Jonathan_Toews, Sidney_Crosby/Patrick_Kane, Sidney_Crosby/
      Jonathan_Toews
  Character:
      Patrick_Kane, Jonathan_Toews, Sidney_Crosby
  Additional Tags:
      Chicago_Blackhawks, Pittsburgh_Penguins, Alternate_Universe_-_Boarding
      School, Team_Bonding, Friends_With_Benefits, Threesome_-_M/M/M, Jealousy,
      happy_endings_come_in_many_forms, I'm_back, with_the_Sidney/Jonny/Patrick
      feels
  Stats:
      Published: 2017-07-14 Words: 22118
****** BF and BF ******
by Vertex
Summary
     Sidney struggles with feelings.
Notes
     This is mostly self-indulgent. I always liked the thought of Patrick
     and Sidney being friends, and when Sid called Patrick, "Kaner," last
     year, inspired a lot of feels.
     I knew I had to write this fic for #soft bros.
     This is dedicated to obviouslylinked.
     -
     I would like to clear up in case there is any confusion that both
     Jonny and Sharpy have a house near campus, however their families
     don't live there and it's over a thirty-minute drive back and forth
     so they prefer to stay at the dorms.
     I tagged it underage because Patrick's supposed to be seventeen while
     both Jonny and Sidney are eighteen.
See the end of the work for more notes
 
 
Sidney woke up blurry-eyed and supporting a massive headache. He groggily
rubbed his eyes with his palms. He blinked a few times and was greeted with the
sight of a side-table when his vision cleared.
 
He was in Jonny's room. And he was most definitely naked under the sheets. He
was going to pretend that he did not just wake up with a boner from a dream in
which he was banging his best friend's boyfriend. He let out a small groan,
pinching the bridge of his nose, and tried to remember what had happened last
night. How drunk had he been?
 
He sat up and threw his legs over the side of the bed. He leaned forward,
resting his elbows on knees until the dizziness faded. He was about to get up
when he felt the bed shift and his head immediately snapped to look back over
his shoulder.
 
His blood turned cold when he processed everything because that was definitely
Patrick's sleeping body. Sidney couldn't see his lower half, but he was sure
the other boy was also naked under the sheets and that meant that his dream
wasn't a dream. It was real and, oh, God, he had actually slept with his best
friend's boyfriend. Sidney was hyperventilating now.
 
What should he do? Did Jonny know? Of course Jonny knew, Sidney lamented. He
was in hisroom at his house. But there was always a possibility that Jonny
didn't know. But that was highly unlikely.
 
And what about Kaner? He should leave before the younger boy woke up. Maybe
there was a chance that Patrick wouldn't remember anything and Jonny didn't
know and they both would never find out. Only Sidney would know and things
could continue as they were.
 
It was very farfetched but right now avoiding his problems seemed like a good
option. Sidney was a horrible person. He got up and quickly gathered all his
clothes he could find which consisted of his boxers, his shirt, and his jeans.
Thankfully nothing was missing, however he considered his luck already struck
out. He put them on as quietly as he could. He glanced at Patrick one more time
before he opened the door and walked out with his shoes in his hand.
 
He made his way through the hallway and was just about to enter the living room
when he almost slipped trying to come to a sudden halt. Jonny was sitting right
there on the leather couch with a murderous expression on his face. Jonny
hadn't seen him yet and Sidney wasn't about to let him so he practically threw
himself backward and out of sight.
 
Sidney leaned against the wall and freaked out internally. Jonny knew. He knew
and was probably waiting for Sidney to wake up so he could kill him. He needed
to escape, but how? He couldn't just walk out the front door.
 
Sidney glanced around frantically. He saw the door to the bathroom next to
Jonny's room at the end of the hallway. He hurriedly got in there, shutting the
door behind him. He paced back and forth. What was he going to do? His eyes
snapped toward the window and he made his way over to it and pushed it up. He
stuck his head outside and observed down. It was over a ten-feet jump. He could
make it. And then what? Oh God he was going to have to run alone all the way
back to campus. He hated doing that; it really freaked him out. But maybe he
deserved it. And what if he broke his leg landing? He could never play hockey
again. That thought almost made him go face Jonny until he considered the worse
things Jonny would do to him.
 
He glanced behind at the door. He had to leave somehow and this was it. He
could do it and he was going to do it. He put on his shoes and built up the
courage. The adrenaline rush he had was helping. He took a deep breath and
pushed his upper body through.
 
Suddenly, the door opened and Jonny's voice boomed through the bathroom making
him freeze. "Sid, what are you doing?"
 
Sidney considered just throwing himself out but thought better of it and turned
around holding his out his hands in defence.
 
"Jonny, I –" He swallowed the lump in his throat.
 
Jonny's eyebrows furrowed as he gave Sidney a funny look. "Was the sex that bad
that you're trying to throw yourself out the window?" He was joking. He
wasjoking and Sidney couldn't believe it.
 
"You know?" He asked incredulously, his voice coming out very high-pitched.
 
That elicited another look from Jonny who snorted. "Of course I know, I was
there."
 
"You were there –" Sidney choked. What?
 
Jonny paused, connecting the dots. "Wait, are you telling me that you don't
remember? And that's why you were –" Seeing the expression on Sidney's face,
Jonny burst out laughing.
 
Sidney frowned because that wasn't funny. Jonny, however, continued to grin.
"It's okay, bud, it was just an experiment. Don't worry about it, we won't be
having a repeat. Probably. You were really into it though." Jonny winked and
Sidney felt his cheeks heat up, mostly in embarrassment.
 
Jonny walked over to him and cuffed the back of his neck and shook him a
little. "C'mon, let's get you some breakfast," he said before smacking Sidney
on the ass causing him to jump a little in surprise. 
 
They exited the bathroom and Jonny announced, "I'm going to check on Kaner."
 
Sidney nodded before heading for the living room while Jonny left for his
bedroom. The living room was tidy, Sidney noticed. He wondered if Jonny spent
the entire morning cleaning the mess from the party by himself.    
 
He walked into the kitchen and began to make them all some coffee. Jonny joined
him a few minutes later, but without Patrick. Jonny came to stand next to him
and without a word he begun opening cabinets and taking things out to make
breakfast.
 
"Did you drink water?" Jonny asked him randomly.
 
Sidney shook his head. "No."
 
"Well then go drink some," Jonny said. "Let's keep you hydrated."
 
Sidney rolled his eyes, but he knew Jonny was right. He walked over and got
himself a glass, filled it with water and made a show of drinking to Jonny's
satisfaction.
 
Jonny nodded his approval before he said: "You can shower, if you want, after
breakfast. I'll find something for you to wear. I'm sure you've got some
clothes lying around here."
 
"I'd like that," Sidney replied. He really needed a shower, he felt disgusting.
 
"Alright." Jonny popped a cherry into his mouth and continued on making
pancakes on the stove.
 
Sidney heard a door open and close behind them. He turned his head and saw
Patrick walk out from the hallway and down the small steps of stairs. He joined
them in the kitchen looking fresh but not fully awake yet. The first thing he
did was go to Jonny and press a small kiss on his lips. Jonny frowned looking
down at the Patrick and expressed his disapproval.
 
"What did I tell you about being shirtless in front of the stove?"
 
Patrick snorted and moved away toward the stool at the counter. "Whatever,
Jonny." He turned to look right at Sidney and pulled him into a one-armed hug
before sitting down next to him.
 
"'Morning, Sid," he greeted with a lazy smile.
 
"Good morning," Sidney replied slightly dazed. He couldn't stop staring at how
Patrick's gold chain looked against the slightly tan skin of his chest or the
way his sweats hung low on his hips. Sidney kind of wanted to take them off
him.
 
"You know what," Sidney spoke up suddenly. "I think I'll have that shower right
now."
 
"What-" However he got up and left before Jonny could protest that he should
eat his breakfast first.
 
Sidney entered Jonny's room and was glad to find his own shorts and shirt from
previous stays in one of the drawers. He entered the bathroom and locked the
door behind him.
 
He walked over to the mirror, taking his shirt and jeans off in the process. He
looked at his own reflection, and then twisted his body to look down at his
hip. There were scratch marks all over his lower back and hips. He ran his
finger tips over them softly.
 
He felt his heart beat faster and his body heat up as he thought of last night.
The way he had been draped over Patrick with the younger man's legs wrapped
around his waist as they moved in sync. Sidney palmed his dick through his
boxers at the memory. He was hard again and gasped at the sensation. He took
his boxers off too before he soiled them. He turned the shower on and stepped
into the water before placing a hand on the wall, the tiles cold under his
touch. He grabbed his dick with his other hand and jerked off. 
 
He imagined his lips against Patrick's, hot breath fanning over his face as he
thrust into the younger man. The feel of tight muscles clenching around his
dick and of Patrick's hands running over his sides, nails digging in attempt to
bring him closer. He tightened his grip and sped up his movement with rough
strokes of his hand.
 
He imagined Jonny watching, encouraging him to fuck Patrick harder and that
thought almost took him over the edge. He still couldn't remember all the
details from that night. Maybe they both had taken turns fucking Patrick until
he was a gasping mess, unable to keep up. Or maybe they both took him at once.
Sidney imagined pulling the younger man onto his knees, chain swinging from his
neck, and taking him from behind while Jonny took the younger man's mouth
roughly until he was choking on spit and come.
 
Sidney groaned, squeezing his eyes shut. He was close. He pictured Patrick in
front of him on his knees as he jacked off. He felt his balls tighten and he
came harder than ever before imagining spilling all over Patrick's face,
landing some in his mouth as he did so.
 
Sidney rested his head against the wall, breathing harshly as he slowed down
and came to an eventual stop. He stayed still until he regained his senses. He
pushed himself away from the wall and exhaled sharply.
 
He was fucked.    
 
 
 
Sidney shuffled to class the next day and took a seat next to Kris, who looked
as tired as he did. Even Flower was relatively quiet today.
 
"Did you do the assignment?" Kris asked him.
 
Sidney shook his head. "No. Did you?"
 
"No," Kris admitted. "I was hoping to copy off you."
 
Sidney didn't answer. Instead he looked over to the front of the room where he
saw the usual sight of Duncan Keith and Brent Seabrook in a conversation with
each other, and Patrick Sharp trolling by throwing pieces of crumpled paper at
the back of Brent's head.
 
"How come you weren't at the dining hall this morning?" Flower asked from
behind him, grabbing his attention shortly. 
 
"Woke up late," Sidney replied.
 
"Partied too hard again last night, Sid?" Kris spoke with a smirk.
 
Did they know something? He wondered. "Something like that," he offered curtly.
 
The doors opened and Jonny and Patrick walked in. They joined the others in the
front. Jonny turned around after settling in his seat and looked around the
classroom until he spotted Sidney. He was about say something but paused when
the teacher walked in. He mouthed at Sidney, "homework?"
 
Sidney shook his head and Jonny turned his attention back to the front of the
class. Mr. Miller wrote the topic on the board before turning around to face
them.
 
"By the looks on your faces, I'm guessing that no one has done the assignment."
A guy next to Sharpy, whose name Sidney couldn't recall, was about to raise his
hand but Sharpy quickly pulled it down.
 
"Nobody?" Mr. Miller looked around and sighed when there was no response. "I'm
giving you all one more day and I will be marking this assignment so be sure to
do it by tomorrow." "Ugh," Flower groaned with a pout, resting his head on
table.
 
The rest of the day was as boring and unproductive. Sidney couldn't wait for
the end of the month when they would finally get hockey back. Until then, he
would have to make do. He didn’t see either Jonny or Patrick again until late
afternoon.
 
He received a text from Jonny to meet at Patrick's dorm room later, so that was
where he was heading now. He had been to Patrick's room a few times before, but
always with Jonny. He knocked and waited outside. Jonny opened the door with a
smile, "Hey, Sid," and invited him in.
 
Jonny shut the door after he walked in. Patrick was lying on his back on the
bed with his legs dangling over the side. He was throwing a paper ball up and
down. He stopped and pushed himself upright when Sidney entered. He adjusted
his cap so it was backwards, completing his frat boy look. "Sid," he greeted
with his usual bright smile which was contagious. He looked good in his blue
long-sleeved shirt which really brought out his eyes. Jonny always made fun of
Patrick whenever he wore shorts because it showed off his "chicken-y" legs.
 
Jonny moved past Sidney and took his place at the desk where all of his things
were sprawled. Sidney didn't know where he should sit, but thankfully Jonny
noticed his discomfort and waved his hand in the direction of the bed. "You can
sit there, Sid."
 
"Oh, yeah, you can come here!" Patrick agreed, moving to make some place for
him.
 
Sidney took his shoes off and placed his bag on the floor next to the bed
before sitting down. He took his things out and spread the problem sheets in
front of him.
 
Patrick looked down at his things before turning his gaze at Sidney. "You can
copy mine."
 
Sidney lips curved upwards at the corner at the offer. "Thanks, but I like to
do them myself."
 
Patrick snorted. "Jonny said the same thing."
 
Jonny turned the chair around to face them. "Yeah, because it's smart. Who's
going to have to give the exam, hmm? Why don't you just do the homework with me
next time?"
 
"I don't because you take too much time," Patrick replied.
 
Jonny rolled his eyes as to say that there was no arguing with Patrick. "Why
don't you just go out or something if you're so bored? Or revise, because I
need to complete this and you can't keep distracting me." He turned back to his
work.
 
"Okay, fine, maybe I will go out," Patrick retorted petulantly. Jonny hummed
half-heartedly, keeping his attention on his notes.
 
Patrick groaned when he didn't get the reaction he wanted and fell back on the
bed. Eventually, he gave up and picked up Sidney's book, the one the other boy
didn't need, and read through it. They spent the next hour like this, quietly
working on their own with Patrick occasionally getting up and moving around the
room with the book in his hand to stretch his legs.
 
Patrick eventually finished the chapters by the time Sidney reached question
number ten. He put the book down and walked over to Jonny, wrapping his arms
around his neck before whining. "C'mon Jonny...."
 
Jonny brushed him off with a frown. "Don't be irritating, Kaner."
 
"Fine," he huffed. "I'll just go make out with Sid." Sidney didn't think
Patrick was being serious and he was pretty sure Jonny didn't either because he
ignored him. But Sidney was surprised when Patrick dropped himself on his lap,
resting his arms on his shoulders.
 
Jonny turned around and raised his eyebrows. "Don't," he said sharply.
 
Sidney's eyes shifted to him in caution and then back to Patrick who ignored
Jonny and pressed his lips against Sidney's, nipping at his bottom lip when
Sidney didn't reciprocate.
 
"Kaner," Jonny warned testily.
 
Sidney put his hands on Patrick's shoulders intending to push him away but he
couldn't bring himself to. He didn't need to because Patrick got up from his
lap anyway and walked over to Jonny, who grabbed his jaw and pulled him down
into a bruising kiss which the younger boy responded to enthusiastically. It
didn't last long as Jonny broke it off a few seconds later.
 
"How many questions are left?" Patrick asked, this time he was actually
curious.
 
"Still got five more," Jonny replied. Each question had a page long answer and
it was exhausting trying to complete them.
 
Jonny hadn't said anything so Sidney wasn't going to either and thought better
to let things play out by themselves. They spent the next forty minutes
completing the rest of the questions with Patrick's help. Sidney had expected
things to become awkward, but they didn't.
 
"Finally," Jonny groaned, stretching his arms above his head while Patrick
dropped face-first on the bed. "I thought we were never going to finish."
 
Sidney glanced at the time; it was almost six. He picked up his things
scattered around him on the bed. "I think I'm going to head out now," he
stated.
 
Jonny replied first: "You sure?"
 
Sidney scratched the back of his head. "Yeah, I've got some stuff to finish
before dinner."
 
"Alright, see you later, dude." Sidney got up and clasped Jonny's hand in a
farewell before turning to Patrick who lifted himself off the bed. He hadn't
realised that he had a sticky note stuck to his hair.
 
Sidney couldn't contain his amusement. Jonny looked over and shook his head.
"What?" Patrick asked, confused.
 
"Nice, Kaner," Sidney said with a laugh and pulled the note off of him.
 
Patrick looked at it and rolled his eyes. "Oh, right."
 
Sidney patted him on the arm and grabbed his bag from the floor, shoving his
books in there before leaving. The door clicked shut behind him and he looked
around. There was no one around, everything was so quiet. It was already
starting to get dark out. As he made his way over to the common room, he
pondered over what had happened. How he wanted to kiss Patrick back. But
Jonny...
 
 
 
On the next day during breakfast, Duncs came over to their table waving a note
in his hand with Seabs not far behind.
 
"Okay so the charity baseball game we're gonna have is going to be against the
football team," he informed them. Jonny grabbed the note from him and read it.
"Who the hell plans this shit?" he complained. Patrick leaned over to take a
look.
 
"The heads are exploiting our hype," Seabs stated. "They're hoping for a bigger
turnout by selling our rivalry."
 
Sidney couldn't even remember how it started or who started it, but they and
the football team had it out for each other. There was an ongoing dispute over
who was the best and currently the football team was in advantage with their
sixth state title. Their hockey team wasn't far behind with a total of four,
but they could argue that they won two cups in the past four years while the
football team had one title in the past three years going-on-to four.
 
"I don't care, you guys have to come," Duncs said. "It's for a good cause."
 
"Especially you, Sidney, you're good at baseball, aren't you?" Sharpy asked,
taking over. He didn't wait for a response and continued on with his speech.
"We need to get the best guys because we are going to win this!"
 
He got a roar of "hell, yeah!" from the table.
 
"We ain't losing to those cheating pieces of shit," Shawzy said.
 
"Alright." Sharpy clapped his hands together. "Who's good?"
 
"Jack Johnson," Sidney offered.
 
"Okay, who else? Give me names."
 
They just needed one more guy by the end of it and their squad would be
complete. Sharpy looked around. "You!" He pointed toward Mike who sat at the
table next to theirs. "Richards! You look like a dude who plays baseball.
You're in!"
 
Mike turned around and made a face. "What?"
 
Sharpy beamed at him. "You're in the team, congrats buddy."
 
Mike looked at Jeff in question who shrugged in reply and continued eating.
 
"We need you for just one game," Kris added, and Jonny nodded encouragingly
when Mike glanced his way.
 
"Alright," he agreed, but he still seemed unsure like he was questioning their
intentions. Well that was what it was always like with anybody who ever knew
Sharpy was involved.
 
"What about me?" Patrick asked. He was the only one left – other than Jonny who
didn't want to partake.
 
Sharpy burst out in laughter. "You? Peeks, you can't throw for shit, I don't
even want to know how bad your hit is."
 
Patrick frowned. "You're an ass, Sharpy."
 
Sharpy tilted his head slightly. "Aww, don't be mad, Peeks, we still have a
spot left for you on the team."
 
"Oh, yeah, like what?" Patrick asked.
 
"Before I tell you, do me a favour and hand me that water bottle," Sharpy said.
Patrick looked at him sceptically but picked up the bottle and handed it over
to him anyway.
 
"See you're doing a great job already. You can be our water boy," Sharpy
delivered with a smirk, and the guys burst out in laughter. 
 
Patrick let out an exasperated sigh like he knew he should have seen this
coming. "Sharpy, you can shove that bottle up your –" He gave the other boy a
pointed look before turning to Jonny who looked just as amused as the rest of
them did.
 
"Jonny?!"
 
"What? I didn't say anything," the older boy exclaimed.
 
Patrick narrowed his eyes at him. "Exactly."
 
"It was just a joke, take it like it is.  Don't need to be so damn sensitive
all the time," Jonny retorted in annoyance. Oh, boy, Sidney thought. Here we
go.
 
"Excuse me?!" Patrick demanded.
 
"Yeah, excuse you, buddy," Jonny spat.
 
"Oh, the passive aggressive 'buddy'. How very Canadian of you, Jonny." He said
"Jonny" like it was an insult. "Tazer, oh no you didn't," Flower whispered and
the others started snickering.
 
"Okay guys, break it up," Seabs intervened.
 
"Yeah," Sharpy said, laughing into his fist. "Your fights are just getting
hilarious now."
 
"Shut up, Sharpy!" Jonny and Patrick both shouted.
 
"You started it," Patrick added.
 
"And now I'm ending it," Seabs stated. "The game's this Friday so we need to
focus."
 
 
 
It had been decided that they would practice after school. And that was exactly
what Sidney was heading over to the field to do when he heard a voice call out.
"Sid! Wait up!"
 
He stopped to look back, resting his bat on his shoulder. It was Patrick
jogging over to him. He returned the smile before asking: "Where's Jonny?"
 
Patrick rolled his eyes and answered with a scoff; he was obviously still
pissed off. "He's playing soccer with Broshie and his bro-dudes." He
practically spat the word Broshie.
 
Sidney made a face as they walked together. He shoved his left hand into his
pocket, keeping the bat against his shoulder with his right. "Aren't you
friends with Oshie?"
 
"I am!" Patrick replied rather defensively while keeping his gaze fixed on the
ground.
 
Sidney bumped elbows with him. "Whatever you say." Though Sidney knew the
truth. Patrick was friends with Oshie, that was true, but there were conflicted
feelings. The thing was that Jonny was willing to and had done everything with
Oshie that he would normally criticise Patrick for doing or even merely
suggesting like binge drinking and partying until they got black out drunk.
Patrick felt that was hypocrisy and double standard on Jonny's part and they
both constantly fought over it. But there was one thing that Sidney understood
that Patrick didn't: Jonny expected more from him than he did from Oshie.
 
They were alone when they stepped onto the field. Sidney let the bag slip from
his shoulder and drop on the ground along with the bat. He rested his hands on
his hips and took in the surrounding through squinted eyes.
 
"No one's here," he said absentmindedly, mostly to himself. He twisted his neck
to look at Patrick. "Want to play?"
 
Patrick nodded. "Yeah sure."
 
"You pitch," Sidney said as he fished the ball out of his bag and passed it to
Patrick who caught it easily. "You know? I've never seen you play before." The
other boy let out a huff of laughter, adjusting his hat over his head. "Well,
you haven't missed out much."
 
Sidney hummed in reply as he walked over to the home plate and stood next to
it, facing Patrick.
 
"We're friends, right?" He asked, tapping the plate twice with the head of his
bat.
 
"Obviously," Patrick replied in a tone that implied that he found the question
ridiculous and that there was no doubt about it.
 
"And we've known each other for a long enough time."
 
Patrick raised his eyebrows, wondering where this was going. "Yeah."
 
"I feel like I should have seen you play at least once."
 
Patrick let out an exhale, letting his arms fall by his side. "I stopped a long
time ago so it doesn't matter. Besides, baseball isn't my thing. You've seen me
play basketball, right?"
 
"I have," Sidney replied. Of course he had. Patrick was good at it. Others
usually underestimated him because of his size but he was good. Almost like in
hockey.
 
Patrick spread his arms. "So, then you're set. Now come on, let's play ball."
He got ready to throw. Sidney bent his knees and swung the bat. He tried not to
hit too hard so the ball didn't travel too far. He watched with his hand
shading his eyes as Patrick went to retrieve it.
 
"That wasn't too bad," Sidney shouted. He couldn't see with Patrick's back
turned to him but he knew the other boy was smiling.
 
Patrick returned with the ball and rubbed it against his jeans to wipe off the
dust. He was grinning. "I know." He attempted a curve ball at Sidney who
managed to land an awkward hit and Patrick was able to catch the ball.
 
"I'm not as terrible as Sharpy claims," he told Sidney, and paused for a few
seconds as if debating whether to continue. "There was a game in front of the
entire school and I got nervous and messed up a pitch terribly. The guys – you
know how they are – they never let me live it down and I never really got back
into it," he admitted.
 
"Really?" Sidney asked.
 
"Really," Patrick confirmed. "I can't even remember the last time I did this so
it's okay if you haven't seen me play before."
 
 "Good, Sid, you're already here!" Patrick looked behind and Sidney followed
his gaze over to the rest of the guys making their way to them.
 
"Hey, Kaner, what are you doing here?" Sharpy asked with a teasing smile as he
stopped in front of them. "Shouldn't you be at Tee-ball practice or something?"
 
Patrick rolled his eyes. "Har, har, Sharpy. Aren't you too old for high
school?" He quipped and dodged with a laugh as Sharpy came after him. Sidney
watched in amusement as Sharpy chased after Patrick around the field.
 
 
 
On the next day Sidney located Jonny and Patrick in the library – which was too
pretentious to be called that with its limited number of books and lack of a
librarian, and instead would most likely be equated as a study area. They were
hunched over their text books in a quiet corner with their chairs pulled close
together and their legs touching. A sign that things between them were alright
again.
 
He pulled the seat in front of them and settled in, dumping his books on the
table. Jonny and Patrick looked up simultaneously from their books. Sidney let
out a deep frustrated exhale as he ran his fingers through his hair, mussing
them even further.
 
"What am I going to do?" Sidney asked. "I haven't even started on the draft of
my history essay. I think I'll have to pull an all-nighter." He leaned back
against his chair and tipped it backwards, rubbing at his forehead. He was
still exhausted from practice and the stress was getting to him.
 
"Okay, what if we helped you?" Patrick asked.
 
"Yeah, totally, man," Jonny agreed.
 
Sidney opened his eyes to look at them. "No, it's fine."
 
"We insist," Patrick pressed.
 
"Nah, nah," Sidney shook his head. "It's already late. I can't ask you guys to
do that. You already have enough on your plate."
 
"C'mon, it's only nine. If we don't want to do it anymore, we can leave
anytime. Right, Kaner?" Jonny turned to Patrick, who nodded.
 
Sidney considered for a moment. "Okay, but you guys don't know what to do."
 
Patrick got up from his chair and leaned over to inspect Sidney's textbook,
flipping through the pages. "I have some idea, but you can totally guide us,
dude. But first, what's the topic?"
 
After Sidney told him, Patrick nodded. "Okay so this is how we're doing this:
I'll pick out the facts, Jonny you gather them on stickys and Sid you write the
damn paper."
 
Jonny laughed at the last part. "No shit, man."
 
Within the next two hours Patrick was walking around them with a highlighter in
hand, going through the chapters while Jonny sat on the carpeted floor
scribbling down facts and sticking them on the table where Sidney was busy
storming through a draft and then the essay itself. It was a real struggle
writing the last paragraph with his cramping hand but he managed and slammed
the pen down in victory when he was finally done. "Yes!" he spoke in relief
with eyes closed. After a pause he spoke earnestly: "Thanks guys."
 
"Welcome. This shit's interesting. How come I didn't take it up? Beats the hell
out of studying codes," Patrick stated, sitting upright from where he had been
lying on the floor.
 
Jonny stretched his limbs before making a face. "Oh, shit, what time is it?"
 
Patrick glanced at his wrist watch which was as bright and colourful as his
personality. "Shit, we missed curfew by fifteen. We need to get the hell out of
here."
 
They were the only ones in the dimly lit room. "Grab everything and let's go,"
Sidney responded. They started scrambling for their stuff.
 
Sidney picked up his history text book from the floor and frowned. "Kaner, what
the hell did you do to it? There's an entire page highlighted." He blinked. "In
pink."
 
"Haha." Patrick rubbed the back of his neck. "I can't remember why I did that
either."
 
"Did you like lose it in between? I can't even look at it anymore; it's making
my eyes hurt." Sidney shut the book and stuffed it inside his bag.
 
"Sorry." Patrick shrugged.
 
They walked to the metal doors and glanced out the two small windows on them.
The hallway resembled the library: eerily quiet and dark.
 
"It's clear," Jonny whispered. "Let's go." He cautiously grabbed the handle and
opened the door.
 
They crept out, paused at a corner and made sure it was clear before they moved
again. They managed to make it down the first set of stairs and were about to
turn to go down the second when Patrick suddenly stopped, causing Jonny and
Sidney to bump into him.
 
"Wha-" Jonny was about to protest but Patrick interrupted him with a hiss.
"Shh."
 
The three of them crouched down and stuck their heads out and saw one of the
RAs roaming the end of the hallway with a flashlight.
 
"What do we do?" Sidney asked very quietly.
 
Patrick shifted on his knees as he stared ahead. "We wait." After a moment he
tilted his head back to look at Sidney, and Sidney kind of wanted to kiss him.
Not a moment for that, he scolded himself mentally. "You guys can stay with me
for the night."
 
"That's probably a good idea," Jonny said, his voice came out in a strain.
 
"Doesn't it scare him, ambling the corridors alone at night?" Patrick pondered
out loud in a whisper.
 
"Not everyone's like you," Jonny commented. "Remember that weekend at mine when
you almost pissed yourself."
 
Patrick cringed at the memory. "Dammit, Jonny, don't remind me – and stop
exaggerating."
 
"It's okay," Jonny replied in a tone that Sidney could tell that he was
smirking. "I could be into that."
 
Patrick's face contorted into disgust. "Ew, Jon, shut up."
 
Not that Sidney wasn't fascinated with where their conversation was going, but
this was not the time so he shushed them. "You can continue this later, guys!"
And thankfully there was silence.
 
That was until Patrick stated randomly: "Would he freak out if I like tumbled
down the stairs like that thing in The Grudge or something?" There was a pause
before the three of them snorted out in laughter which they managed to stifle
but Sidney was out of luck and a noise escaped past his lips. He brought a hand
to his mouth as the RA turned in their direction sharply and the flashlight
shone on the wall behind them.
 
Shit, shit, shit, Sidney chanted in his head. Jonny and Patrick had their hands
covering their mouths, too, to prevent anymore unwanted sounds from escaping.
They held a collective breath as the RA treaded their way.
 
They exhaled in relief after the RA, thankfully, took the adjacent staircase
down to the floor below them. Patrick whispered: "Sid, your giggle-honk was
about to get our asses busted."
 
They waited a few more seconds and got up when they were sure that the RA
wasn't making a return but remained careful not to make anymore unnecessary
noises.
 
"Thank God," Patrick spoke a little louder this time, brushing his jeans. "I
thought he was never going to leave. My knees were starting to hurt."
 
Jonny snorted. "Yeah because you spend enough time on them already."
 
"Jonny!" Patrick exclaimed, scandalised. He slapped him on the arm and the
older boy let out a chuckle. "See if I do it for you next time." Patrick then
turned his gaze to Sidney like he just remembered that he was there too. That
was a common occurrence for them when they were together, like no one else
mattered, and Sidney envied that. "Sorry, Sid." Patrick said with an apologetic
look to go with it like he was sorry that Sidney had to listen to all that.
 
Sidney sent him a small lopsided-smile. Suddenly all their smiles dropped when
they heard movement coming from the stairs again.
 
"Fuck, that could be RA or the Grudge thing and I'm not waiting to find out."
Patrick made a run for it, and Sidney and Jonny were right behind him. They
quickly reached Patrick's dorm room and burst inside, shutting the door behind
them. They were laughing again as they did. At that moment Sidney realised he
was in love with them. Both of them. And that feeling hit him hard like a body
check against the boards.
 
"Okay, okay," Patrick said as they dumped their things on the floor, not caring
about the clutter.
 
"Jonny, you come with me. Sid, you can take the spare." He giggled like a
little kid – they were all high on the rush. "That was crazy."
 
Sidney and Jonny shared a look, grinning.
 
 
 
Finally, the day of the charity game came and Sidney was relieved because that
meant no more mandatory practices that had been inflicted on the participants
by Sharpy which had been really affecting his study time.
 
They all gathered in the locker room and after delivering an inspiring speech,
Sharpy looked a little crazy-eyed and there were legit tears in the corner of
his eyes. He clapped his hands together, shouting, "let's go."
 
The others clapped back and they scattered to gather their stuff. Suddenly
there was a loud bang as the door burst open and Mike entered, struggling with
his duffle bag.
 
"Sorry, am I late?"
 
"Oh my God." Sharpy groaned like he couldn't believe it.
 
"Did I miss anything important?"
 
Jonny chuckled, shaking his head. "Nah, bud, you can go."
 
Sharpy glared at him before telling Richie who was attempting to leave. "You're
listening to my speech after this."
 
Jonny scrunched his face at Sharpy. "Was that piece of motivation inspired by
Hunter Pence?" He raised his eyebrows. "I think you need a tissue, man."
 
"Dude, the Giants won like three World Series in the past six years and as they
say: 'in order to be the best, you must learn from the best'. I spent all night
watching their documentaries and I think I have found my new hero."
 
"Sharpy, this is a charity game," Jonny said slowly to get the point across.
"You're not actually gunning for the World Series."
 
Sharpy narrowed his eyes at him. "Is this judgement coming from you, Toes? Mr.
Captain Serious," he sassed before making an exit. Jonny watched him disappear
and shook his head.
 
"He does have a point," Sidney quipped. Jonny retorted by pushing on the chest
lightly. "Shut up. And let's go."
 
They followed the path Sharpy had taken.  When they reached the field, Jonny
tilted his head in the direction of the dugout. "I'll stay there. See you later
and good luck."
 
"Alright, thanks," Sidney replied, getting pulled into a one-armed hug. "See
ya," he added before they headed off in different directions.
 
He spotted Patrick at the edge of the field with a bat resting on the back of
his shoulders. He made his way over to the other boy, moving past the clutter
of people crowding the area. Patrick continued chewing on his gum and didn't
seem to acknowledge Sidney when he came to a stand next to him. They stood in
silence, and Sidney noted the large audience that had gathered to watch them
and that was a huge nervous factor.
 
"Don't be nervous," Patrick said, as if sensing his thoughts. He kept his gaze
ahead.
 
Sidney studied him before snorting. "You know very well that it's not that
simple."
 
"Maybe," Patrick replied. When the umpire blew his whistle for the teams to get
into place, he flashed Sidney a toothy-grin which always drove him crazy. "It's
show time." Sidney shook his head, chuckling. He gave the younger boy kudos for
his ability to pull off clichés. 
 
 
They were leading 6-4 by the seventh inning and by then Sidney had endured many
hits and fouls, including a fastball to the ribs. It wasn't exactly unclear
that he was being targeted.
 
He managed to hit a home-run and when he made it to second-base, the baseman
pushed him and, on his last nerve, Sidney shoved him back and the next thing he
knew he received a solid punch to the face and then Jack was on the other dude.
Both the benches got involved and Sidney was sure he saw Flower throw his mitt
at someone's face.
 
 
 
"That was a fight to be remembered by the ages," Sharpy glorified as they
walked out of the Dean's office after a rather monotonous lecture on school
policy and the code of conduct. "Ten years down they will be still taking about
it; tales will be told; stories will be -"
 
Duncs interrupted him. "Okay, enough, man."
 
Shawzy nodded. "Yeah, you had me but then you lost me."
 
"Besides, who wants to be remembered for a lame ass fight which took place,
might I add, during a charity game," Seabs said.
 
"At least we'll be remembered," Sharpy countered.
 
"Lets leave that to our hockey legacy," Jonny interjected.
 
"Spoken like a true captain." Sharpy grinned.
 
When they entered the dinning hall for dinner time there met with applause and
some hooting which completely overshadowed the collective sneer they received
from the football team from their seats at the table at the right end of the
hall.
 
The charity game hadn't been all that bad considering Sidney had a win to go
along with his black eye and managed to escape with a slap on the wrist unlike
the dude who sucker punched him. Hope the suspension was worth it.
 
They were barred from going out during the weekend as their punishment. Which,
whatever, Sidney thought. They could last because they were not going to be
missing out much with the mid-October exams coming up and could instead utilise
that time to prepare without any distractions. 
 
"Ugh, I can just feel their glare from across the room," Shawzy commented after
they had all settled down in their usual spot at the table on the left-side,
far away from the football team as possible.
 
"Eh, they'll get over it," Duncs dismissed.
 
"But you'd think they'd get used to disappointment by now considering they
experience it so often," Flower quipped and the group broke out into an 'ohhh’.
 
 
 
Rain was trickling when Sidney woke up the next day. He glanced at his alarm
clock, let out a small sigh and pulled the blanket over his head. It was seven
a.m., and he didn't need to be up until way later.
 
He closed his eyes and tried to go back to sleep but it was futile so he gave
up a few minutes later to simply lay awake staring up at the white ceiling. He
wasn't up for much time wasting either so he gave up on that too and decided to
go outside.
 
He pushed the blanket aside and sat up straight, throwing his feet over the
side. It was getting colder as each day passed. He shoved his feet into his
yellow crocs and shuffled to the bathroom to brush his teeth and wash his face.
When he came out he pulled on his cardigan and walked out into the hallway,
making sure not to wake Flower who was asleep on the other bed.
 
Sidney didn't have a particular destination in mind as he roamed the deserted
halls but he ended up in front of Jonny's dorm room anyway. Jonny and Seabs
were most likely asleep. Knowing Jonny, he would try to sleep in as long as
possible. But Sidney knew that was because Jonny suffered insomnia and often
spent sleepless nights so it was best to leave him undisturbed, and so he moved
on.
 
The hallway was gloomier than usual in the morning with dark clouds shielding
the sun. As he made his way back, he passed Patrick's room before pausing and
taking a few steps back. The door was wide open. He glanced inside and saw no
sign of Patrick.
 
"Patrick?" He whispered, and cautiously entered the room. He looked around and
almost missed him at first glance; Patrick was sitting in a corner facing the
wall with his phone pressed to his ear. He was talking very softly.
 
Sidney walked over to him and tentatively pressed his fingers to the back of
Patrick's head; his hair felt soft underneath his touch. That was probably the
wrong thing to do because the other boy startled terribly and dropped his phone
and looked back at Sidney, stunned.
 
After recovering from the shock, Patrick quickly picked up his phone and
assured whoever was at the end of the call that he was fine. "Sorry, I just
dropped my phone."
 
He paused to listen before he said hurriedly, "Yeah, Jackie, I gotta go, I love
you...yeah, I will. I'll talk to you later." Jackie – Sidney recognised the
name – was his sister...Well, one of them: he had three. That made Sidney think
of his own sister, Taylor, who was back at Halifax. He really missed her and
those phone calls and video chats weren't enough. They hadn't seen each other
in a long time.
 
When the call ended, Patrick wiped his face with his sleeve before getting up
and shoving Sidney lightly with a glare. "What the hell, man?" But then his
expression softened like he was glad to see him. Sidney hoped so.
 
"Sorry," he offered. "...The door was open."
 
Patrick quirked an eyebrow. "And you thought you'd come in and scare the crap
out of me? What are you even doing being awake at ass o'clock in the morning?"
 
It was Sidney's turn to raise an eyebrow. He hadn't missed Patrick's red rimmed
eyes, a sign that the younger boy had been crying before he had walked in.
Homesick, he assumed was the reason Patrick was awake. He knew the younger boy
missed his family a lot. Instead of calling out Patrick over the fact that he
was wake too, he apologised again.
"I didn't mean to startle you."
 
Patrick went and sat down on his bed and looked expectantly at Sidney like he
was waiting for him to do the same so Sidney did.
 
"Nice shoes, man," Patrick teased when he saw Sidney shake off his yellow crocs
which were on the end of every joke whenever he wore them and today was no
exception. "So what were you doing?"
 
Sidney shrugged in response as he settled down. "I couldn't go back to sleep so
I decided to walk around a bit."
 
Patrick hummed but didn't offer his own explanation. Instead he glanced at the
window. "The weather's really nice."
 
"It is," Sidney agreed and, yeah, he was terrible at small talk.
 
"Want to go out in the rain?" But then Patrick dismissed his own idea before
Sidney could respond. "Nah, it's probably a bad idea." He fell into deep
thought and began to look down again, so Sidney asked, "Hey, you have your
cards? I was hoping for a rematch."
 
Patrick was a little reluctant. "But there's only two of us."
 
"Just try, " Sidney encouraged, and Patrick stared at him for a moment before
getting his cards. They ended playing a game of bluff and Sidney was pleased
because Patrick cheered up and seemed to be enjoying himself.
 
They were on their fourth game and Patrick was leading the number of wins by
one, but there was only so much Sidney could handle before his competitive edge
took over so –
"Three Queens." Sidney pulled out three cards and placed them on the pile.
 
Patrick eyebrows furrowed. "I call bullshit."
 
Sidney smirked. "Pick them up." Patrick frowned and turned over the cards. He
was flabbergasted when he saw three Queens like the other boy had said. "How? I
put one and you already placed three."
 
Sidney continued to look pleased at his deceit. "I bluffed the first time."
 
Patrick grudgingly picked up his stash; his cards were getting out of control.
 
"Okay you can have the first turn," Sidney offered.
 
"One five," Patrick placed a card on the bed.
 
Sidney shook his head, laughing. "Pass. I know you have all the fives; we just
went through this."
 
"Dammit." Patrick put his cards down. "I'm calling a new game; this is getting
ridiculous." He paused. "Wait, let's call Jonny. It'll be better with three
people."
 
"Are you sure? Because he's going to win, and you're going to get angry,"
Sidney said. Like everything else, Jonny was good at card games too. And each
time they played there was a ninety-percent chance that Patrick and Jonny were
going to get on each other's nerves and end up in a fight. 
 
"Yes, I'm sure." Patrick threw his phone at Sidney, who caught it. "Call him."
 
Sidney made a face. "Why me?"
 
Patrick responded, "he's going to get mad at me."
 
He's going to be mad at me, too, Sidney thought but called Jonny still.
 
Jonny picked up on the fourth ring. "What the hell, Kaner?" He demanded in a
groggy tone which implied that they just woke him up.
 
"It's Sid."
 
"Then what the hell, Sidney?" He was pissed off as anticipated.
 
Sidney paused and looked over at Patrick who nodded encouragingly. Sidney shook
his head in response. He put his hand over the receiver and the words that came
out of his mouth were barely heard as he hissed, "he's going to kill me...You
tell him." Patrick kicked him on the leg in response so he pursed his lips at
the other boy and decided to just say it. "We want you to play cards with us,"
he said very seriously and waited for Jonny to respond but there was silence on
the other end and then the call ended.
 
Sidney stared at the phone. He had hung up on them.
 
 
 
After nine, they went to the dining hall for breakfast where they were later
joined by Jonny who looked like his usual grumpy self in the morning. Despite
his ticked-off attitude, he kissed Patrick sweetly before sitting down beside
him on the bench.    
 
They ate in silence and eventually Sidney left the two to attend his two-hour
long World History lecture. They were a little behind on course. The teacher
handed them their essays back at the end of the lecture. Sidney had received a
solid B-plus which was a miracle on its own considering he spent less than two
hours on it. But apparently the teacher didn't think so, and he was asked to
stay behind to have a discussion on his dropped grade.
 
 He walked out ten minutes later after many promises to do better next time. He
immediately found Patrick sitting on the bottom of the stairs with Sharpy while
he was heading down. He grinned at Patrick, waving the sheets of paper. "B-
plus, baby!" He announced with a grin.
 
Patrick beamed at him before getting up to deliver a hug. "That's my boy," he
replied, patting Sidney on the back.
 
After they sat down on the steps, Sharpy gave them a curious look. "Why are you
guys getting all worked up over a B?"
 
Sidney and Patrick locked gazes, amusement clear in their eyes as they
remembered that night.
 
Sharpy narrowed his eyes at them. "Wait, what's with the look?"
 
"Mind your own business, Sharpy," Patrick dismissed him. The other boy
exaggerated his feelings hurt to which Patrick rolled his eyes.
 
"Don't think that I'm letting this go," Sharpy stated.
 
"Wouldn't think of it," Patrick replied patronisingly, before adding after a
pause: "I'll tell you about it later." Mostly he said that to shut Sharpy up.
 
"Where's Jonny?" Sidney asked.
 
Patrick nodded his head forward. "He's standing over there squinting at his
phone for some reason." Jonny was standing outside the Admissions office on the
pavement, probably making use of the weak Wi-Fi signals that were coming from
there.
 
Sidney got up and walked over to Jonny from behind and jumped on him. "Dude,
look." He showed Jonny the papers from over his shoulder, holding them close to
his face.
 
Jonny glanced at him and said, "You know, I expect this behaviour from Kaner
and not from you."
 
Sidney shook the papers in response. "Focus, Jon."
 
Jonny sighed before grabbing the pages from him. His face contorted into a
grin. "Is this the essay?"
 
Sidney smiled. "Yeah."
 
"Good job," Jonny nodded, impressed.
 
"You can tell yourself that because that's your hard work too," Sidney said
with a chuckle.
 
"Yeah, yeah, now get off me," Jonny said. "You're heavier than I remember."
 
 
 
Later, they all gathered in the common room till late and the first topic of
discussion had immediately been hockey. Mid-October marked the beginning of
exams as well as the coveted hockey season. They had a discussion which turned
into an argument over the possible line-ups that coach Q could go with this
season. They had lost experienced talent to graduation but they had some good
rookies to make up for it and the possibilities excited them.
 
They then ended up playing rounds of Mario Kart on the flat-screen that was
provided in the common room which turned out to be a huge problem for Sidney
because he needed to watch the latest re-run episode of One Tree Hill. It had
become a tradition of his and he couldn't skip it so getting the rest of the
guys to leave was real challenge but he was successful. It was one thing about
him that no one else knew about, other than Geno and his sister. For some
reason Sidney hadn't told either Jonny or Patrick. It was not like he had a
problem with them finding out, he just hadn't ever brought it up.
 
Sidney hadn't thought that the continuous rain was a problem until dinner time
when the trickle turned into a heavy shower. They needed to cross the ground in
order to get back to the dormitories, however a glance outside at the sodden
path from the open doors at the exit made him wonder how the hell they were
going to make it.
 
"This is ridiculous," Patrick muttered from the front of the gathering and
Sidney glanced sideways at him. He remembered what Patrick had said about
wanting to go in the rain yesterday and he was feeling inspired so he took a
step into the rain, getting himself drenched.
 
"C'mon, then, let's go," he said.
 
"Have you lost your mind?" Patrick replied. He made a move to pull Sidney back
inside but the other boy remained firm.
 
"Come on, you said yourself that you wanted to go in the rain. And besides, do
you want to be stuck here?" Sidney said. Patrick studied his face, seeming
hesitant again.
 
Sidney turned to Jonny. "Jonny?" He waited for a moment but he was getting
soaked and gathering quite the attention so he made his decision. "If you don't
want to come, then don't but I'm sure as hell not staying here." He ran,
disappearing into the darkness.
 
Patrick shifted on his feet and let out a frustrated groan. "Wait up, Sid!" He
shouted going after him, but not before tugging Jonny with him. "Come on,
Tazer."
 
They both ran out and immediately shivered as they were drenched in the cold
shower. Making sure to stay on the gravel path, the two caught up with Sidney
who had slowed his pace until they joined him.
 
"This is crazy," Patrick told him, squinting his eyes as fat rain droplets
continuously fell on his face. Jonny let out a noise as he shivered against the
harsh wind that nipped their uncovered hands and faces. It was getting harder
to see, but they knew the path by heart; it coming on an instinct with the
number of times they had crossed it. The entrance was just a few feet ahead and
gravel scrunched under their shoes as they quickened their pace.
 
Patrick almost slipped as he came to a halt under the shelter of the door’s
head jamb. He steadied himself with some help from Jonny. They wiped their
shoes profusely on the welcome mat, still shaking violently. They were properly
drenched from head-to-toe and their clothing was sticking uncomfortably to
their body.
 
"You're crazy, you know that?" Patrick told Sidney as they hastily made their
way up the staircase.
 
They reached Sidney's dorm room which was the closest and entered. Thankfully
it was warm. Patrick immediately pulled off his coat as well as his soaked
shirt and discarded them in the hamper. "That was fun, though," he admitted.
 
"You won't think it was fun when we all suffer from pneumonia," Jonny said,
losing his shirt too.
 
Sidney walked over to his dresser and pulled out a few spare clothes for the
two of them. "Here," he said, throwing a shirt at Jonny who caught and
immediately pulled it on.
 
"Take that up with Sid, he's the one who went berserk," Patrick struggled with
his words as he hopped around trying to pull on the track pants Sidney had
given him. He then proceeded to put on a shirt.
 
"Kaner, every time it rains you say you want to go out, but then you never do,
so I thought why not? We needed to get back here anyway," Sidney said, and
Patrick paused looking surprised, then his expression contorted into a look
that Sidney had only seen his give Jonny.
 
"You didn't need to do that," Patrick replied in a low voice, a little at lost
for words.
 
"I know."
 
 
 
They were at a café just near campus. It was dimly lit, illuminated by the
light streaming in through the large windows panes. Sidney really liked the
cosy atmosphere that was constantly maintained there which was always a good
change from the perpetual calamity in the dining hall back at campus. He placed
his tray on the table and sat down at the booth next to Sharpy who was happily
telling the rest that he was more than willing to ditch them.
 
"As soon as Abby arrives, I'm out of here," he stated.
 
Jonny, sitting directly across from Sidney, paused momentarily from whatever he
had been saying and eyed Sidney's chocolate muffin disapprovingly before he
continued on with the conversation he was having with Corey. Hockey was just
around the corner and Jonny wanted them all to be in shape and that began with
maintaining a healthy diet so that they would be used to it before the season
started. But fuck that, Sidney was going to have all the sweets he wanted if he
was going to survive the rest of the term without them.
 
Patrick's reaction was opposite to that of Jonny though. He gazed at the muffin
longingly before glancing down at his own drink with a frown; it was a smoothie
as suggested by Jonny.
 
Sidney pushed his plate toward him and Patrick beamed in response.
 
"Sid!" Jonny admonished from beside Patrick. "I know you can't control yourself
but don’t encourage others."
 
"Chill, Jonny, it's just a muffin," Patrick placated, breaking off a piece and
eating it.
 
"It's always 'just a muffin' and then it turns to –"
 
Sidney had zoned off as he tore two packets of sugar and dumped them in his
coffee. He looked up as he stirred and raised his eyebrows at Jonny and Patrick
who were staring at him aghast – well, mostly Jonny.
 
"Just look at him," Jonny said to Patrick, gesturing in his direction
disapprovingly.
 
Sidney frowned, offended slightly. "I'm right here."
 
"Sid, you had pancakes soaked in syrup for breakfast and now this instead of
lunch, are you right in the mind," Jonny chided. "Craving sugar like a goddamn
pregnant woman."
 
"If you three are done bickering," Corey interrupted. "We were just talking
about throwing a party."
 
"A party?" Shawzy spoke loudly upon his return from the washroom, his voice
spreading across the room. "I'll bring the beer!"
 
"Sit down you underage fool," Corey hissed as heads turned in their
direction.  
 
"Anyway," Sharpy carried on. "We'll have to hold it at your place again, Tazer.
My parents will be staying this weekend so I can't do it. It's all up to you."
 
"Yeah, sure. But this time you guys are helping me clean up after," Jonny
bargained, and consensus was reached.
 
 
 
Next weekend, just before the party, Sidney took a seat on top of the closed
lid of the toilet and observed Patrick as he diligently got ready in front of
the mirror in the same bathroom Sidney had tried throwing himself out of weeks
before.
 
Jonny moved past the bathroom before he backtracked, glancing in through the
open door. He assessed Patrick briefly before remarking: "Are you douching up
again?"
 
"Shut up," Patrick exclaimed as he picked up a jar of gel.
 
"Knowing you, you'll have your cap on the entire time so I don't understand why
you're even bothering," Jonny stated while leaning against the door jamb.
 
"Don't you have a party to organise or something?" Patrick responded coolly,
keeping his eyes fixed on the mirror in front of him as he ran slicked fingers
through his hair. He then began contemplating between Temptation and Instinct,
choosing to ignore Jonny, who shook his head at him before sharing a look with
Sidney which said: what can be done about him?
 
Patrick eventually made his decision and dosed himself in Temptation until
there was a cloud of musky body spray surrounding him.
 
That was the very reason Sidney was able to know that it was Patrick who had
sidled up to him from behind when he was talking to Steven and two guys whose
names he was not familiar with some three hours later.
 
Patrick proceeded to enthusiastically greet them and Sidney learned that their
names were Victor and Zach. Of course, Patrick was buddies with everyone.
 
"I need to borrow Sid," Patrick said, patting Sidney on the arm. "Is that
okay?"
 
 "Yeah, sure," the guy (Zach) with the short, brown hair responded.
 
Patrick's grip on his shoulder returned after clasping hands with Zach.
"Thanks, Parise, you're my boy." His gaze flickered between the three of them.
"I'll see you guys later, alright?" He pulled Sidney along with him. "C'mon,
Sid, I need you to help me win a game of beer-pong."
 
"Why me?" Sidney enquired.
 
"Obviously I would ask my beer-pong buddy. Also, you have the most accurate
shot. I would do it myself but I might be a little hammered," Patrick admitted.
"I wanted to hustle them a bit but apparently I look like a douche-bro so
nobody really falls for it."
 
Sidney quirked his eyebrow with an amused smile. "And who's fault is that?"
 
Patrick ignored the comment and continued: "With your goody-two-shoes looks,
it's believable. So will you help me out or not? It'll be fun." He looked at
Sidney hopefully so Sidney agreed.
 
"Alright, I'll do it."
 
Patrick grinned. "I knew you'd agree 'cuz you're my boy."
 
"Oh, yeah?" Sidney smiled cheekily. "Like that Parise dude back there?"
 
Patrick bumped shoulders with him. "Shut up."
 
 
 
They walked into the other room where the Ping-Pong table was set up. They
entered just in time to watch two guys completely annihilate the other two.
Those two in similar plaid shirts were good, Sidney observed. Patrick tilted
his head in their direction. "See, they're good. You got this?"
 
"Yeah." Sidney nodded.
 
"They're getting a little cocky. Let's show them," Patrick stated, twisting his
cap backwards. He clapped Sidney's hand down-low before pushing his way through
the crowd to the front.
 
"Hey," Patrick called out. "How about facing us next?"
 
The two guys shared a look and smirked. "Yeah, sure, we don't mind kicking your
ass too," the dude with the shaved-head remarked, eliciting laughter from his
friends. 
 
Patrick smiled but otherwise ignored the comment. "I'm Patrick," he introduced
himself before jabbing his thumb in Sidney's direction who came to a stand next
to him. "This is Sidney."
 
The dude with the shaved-head leaned forward to offer Patrick a hand and then
to Sidney. "I'm David and my buddy here is Sneider."
 
"Enough with this, let's begin," Sneider said, ready to cut through the
bullshit. "We'll let you guys start."
 
Sidney turned his gaze to Patrick for permission to go first and the younger
boy nodded. Sidney took a shot and the ball hit the rim of one of the cups in
the middle and bounced off the table.
 
Patrick squeezed his eyes shut, pressing a hand to his forehead as he groaned.
David picked up another Ping-Pong ball and threw it directly into one of their
cups. "Tough luck." He frowned mockingly.
 
Sidney shared a look with Patrick, his lips twitching at the corner as matching
predatory smirks formed on their opponents faces, because amongst sharks,
Sidney was a bigger one. He picked up the cup and drained it. A drink to get
started. He wiped his lips with the back of his hand.
 
Patrick took the next shot and it made its way into a cup in the corner.
 
"Maybe you should take all the shots," Sneider chirped before picking up the
cup and drinking from it.
 
They missed purposely in between and eventually as the game proceeded, Sidney
and Patrick were left with around two cups while their opponents had around
six.
 
"Wow, you guys suck at this," David commented as Sidney was aiming to shoot.
 
"You sure about that?" Sidney said as the orange Ping-Pong ball landed into one
of the cups.
 
David snorted as he took out the ball and tossed it at Sidney who caught it
easily. "Yeah, you guys only have two left," he stated, before knocking back
the drink. After gulping a mouthful, he continued. "We're going to roast you."
 
It was Sidney's turn to snort. As David was about to bring the cup to his lips
to finish off the drink, Sidney aimed high before tossing and the Ping-Pong
ball landed directly into his cup, splashing a bit of beer on his face. The
crowd erupted into a frenzy.
 
Sidney smirked. "Death cup. Automatic defeat."
 
Patrick jumped on him. "Shit, dude, you're so savage," he yelled into his ear
over the cheers of the crowd.
.  
 
 
"I told you it'd be fun," Patrick stated, spreading his arms as he walked
backwards almost colliding into someone. "Sorry," he apologised, before turning
his gaze back to Sidney.
 
Sidney stifled his laugh. "Yeah it was."
 
Patrick turned his back to Sidney. "I live for the thrill!" He exclaimed before
turning to look back at Sidney. "To celebrate our win, we need to go get some
shots of tequila." Yeah they did exactly that, and let's say that they both got
pretty hammered.
 
Eventually, after fooling around, they found their way into Jonny's bedroom.
Patrick shut the door behind him, giggling really loudly as he leaned back
against the hard wood. Sidney moved forward, pressing his hands to Patrick's
face, feeling the warmth radiate from his cheeks.
 
They stared into each other’s eyes and Sidney's face was starting to hurt from
smiling so much but he couldn't bring himself to stop. Patrick huffed out a
small laugh; his chest heaving as he attempted to calm down.
 
Sidney would later put the blame on alcohol for kissing Patrick at that moment
which was partly true because other than his obvious attraction, his boldness
came for being trashed. Surprisingly Patrick kissed him back before giggling as
he shoved Sidney away slightly.
 
"Wait, wait," he called out and the next thing Sidney knew the younger boy was
going down on his knees to take off his jeans.
 
"Woah, woah, woah," Sidney exclaimed, batting Patrick’s hands away from his
waist. "You can't just do that! What about Jonny?" He was proud of himself
during that moment because despite being drunk his actions were almost
applaudable considering he never turned down a free blowjob.
 
"Oh, yeah," Patrick scrunched his eyebrows as he thought hard. He glanced up at
Sidney and stated: "I should call him."
 
"You can't just call him to tell him that you're going down-down –" Sidney
paused, a little irritated as he couldn't properly get the world out but
decided to carry on anyway: "– on some dude."
 
Patrick rested his hands on Sidney's thighs, digging his fingers in which sent
tingles up Sidney's legs. "But you're not some dude." Which was true because it
was seemingly becoming a pattern for Jonny, Patrick, and Sidney to hook up
during parties, and he was their best friend.     
 
"Jonny trusts you, you know? Me too," Patrick said it so sincerely, looking up
at Sidney, that it was almost believable that he wasn't totally wasted.
 
 "Anyway, we should wait," he continued, lifting himself off the floor. He went
and laid down on his back on the bed, pulling Sidney down with him. Because of
his muddled brain, Sidney didn't think to ask what they were waiting for. He
partly assumed it was Jonny. He laid quietly beside Patrick until he was laden
with sleep.
 
"I'm going to call Jon," Patrick announced after what felt like a long time of
silence. Sidney's eyelids felt heavy so he decided to shut them. He was already
dozing off to sleep by the time Patrick greeted hello.  
 
 
 
Sidney woke up with a groan when he felt someone tap his face. He shoved the
hand away with a groan and buried his face into the pillow. Instead of soft
fabric he felt warm skin and immediately pulled back which was bad idea. Fast
movements with a hangover were always a bad idea. He realised that he had been
sleeping on Patrick and it was his neck he was trying to shove his face into.
 
"Good, you're awake," he heard Jonny say. "Here," Jonny passed him a plate.
"Eat this and then drink some water. I'll bring you Advil."
 
Sidney rubbed his eyes with the back of his hand and looked down at the plate.
His stomach grumbled as he took in the sight of the sandwich. "Thanks, Tazer,"
he mumbled.
 
"Don't mention it," Jonny replied. He moved over to Patrick, who was still dead
to the world, sleeping like a starfish on top of the comforter.
 
Jonny gave him the same treatment he had given Sidney. Jonny patted his cheek
lightly, "Wake up, Patrick."
 
Patrick groaned and groggily opened his eyes. He blinked, stretching his arms
above his head. Jonny's eyes traced his movement.
 
"'Morning," Patrick mumbled, licking his lips, surprisingly in a better mood
than Sidney would have expected.
 
He offered Patrick his sandwich as he sat up. "Here."
 
Jonny let out a disapproving noise and pushed Sidney's plate back to him. "Eat
yours, he has his own."
 
 "Thanks, Jonny, you're the best," Patrick beamed as Jonny handed him his
plate. He immediately took a bite of the sandwich and swallowed.
 
"Next time, Kaner, when you call me, don't fall asleep mid-call," Jonny
admonished, resting his hands on his hips. "You scared the shit out of me last
night. I thought something had happened."
 
Patrick smiled sheepishly in response. "Whoops, sorry."
 
 Jonny's expression softened. "Just don't let it happen again," he said before
patting Patrick on the leg. "I'll be right back with some Advil." After Jonny
disappeared out of the room, Patrick turned his head to look at Sidney.
 
"Thanks for you know..." he trailed off, and Sidney understood. "I knew what I
was doing; Jonny knows too. I wouldn't do that to him...You were still a
gentleman about it and I would totally blow you right now if it wasn't for the
fact that I want to throw up and I rather not do that on your dick," he rambled
on, and it was endearing, really. "So, instead, I'm going to give you a hug."
 
He shuffled closer and wrapped his arms around Sidney's neck. Sidney hugged him
back, trying not to accidentally drop his sandwich. "This is better," he
replied, pulling Patrick closer, breathing in his scent.
 
Patrick pulled back and settled beside him. Jonny came back right in time with
a tray balancing two glasses of water. "Here you go," he said.
 
"You're the best boyfriend in the world," Patrick announced. "I'm a lucky guy."
 
Jonny simply snorted but Sidney knew he was very pleased with the praise.
 
 
 
The weekend before their exams, there was a gathering at Sharpy's house during
which Sidney had made things for himself even more complicated. The whole team
was present, scattered in the living room, kitchen, and the patio. Patrick and
Jonny had ended up making out rather explicitly on the couch in the living
room. Sidney was blatantly watching them with his face resting in his hand
instead of the television screen where there was a game going on, feeling very
sexually frustrated.
 
Sharpy entered the room with a bowl full of chips and placed it on the coffee
table before resting his hands on his hips. He grabbed the nearest cushion and
threw it across the room at Patrick who was on top of Jonny.
 
"You two either stop making out or get a room," Sharpy stated.
 
Flower, who sat beside Sidney, slapped him on the arm. Very hard. "And you,
stop ogling."
 
"Ow," Sidney exclaimed, glaring at Flower. "What the hell, man. You didn't need
to hit me!"
 
Patrick lifted himself off Jonny, tugging down his shirt, and zeroed in on
Sidney. "You're more than welcome to join us."
 
Sidney froze with wide eyes while Flower made gagging noises next to him.
Patrick sauntered over to Sidney with an encouraging smile. "Come on," he said,
pulling Sidney by his wrist.
 
"Go, go," both Flower and Sharpy said very loudly, most likely wanting to get
rid of them so they could watch the game in peace.
 
Sidney allowed Patrick to tug him along. "We're taking the guest room," Patrick
announced.
 
"Use protection!" Sharpy shouted behind them.
 
Patrick chuckled. "Who's says we're doing anything of that sort?"
 
"Oh, yeah, you're going to get together and play some scrabble," Sharpy
retorted sarcastically which made Patrick laugh harder.
 
"We just might."
 
 
Patrick had Sidney breathing hard as he shoved the older boy against the locked
door and slid down to his knees. Patrick undid the buttons of his jeans and
tugged out Sidney's dick which was already half-hard. Patrick pumped him a few
times which immediately got the older boy hard and stared up at Sidney.
 
"Aren't you going to take control?" Patrick asked him and Sidney could have
come right then at that moment.
 
Sidney glanced at Jonny who had made himself comfortable on the bed and watched
with sharp eyes. He was palming his dick through his pants. Sidney swallowed
before turning his attention back at Patrick who raised his eyebrow
expectantly.
 
Sidney grabbed Patrick by the chin and guided him to his dick. Patrick followed
and licked around the head before taking it into his mouth which had Sidney
gasping. Sidney grabbed a handful of Patrick's hair and pulled so Patrick was
forced to take more of his length into his mouth. Sidney tilted his head back
at the warm feeling. Patrick tongue licked the under side of his dick which had
his toes curling.
 
Sidney allowed Patrick to pull back and breathe. The younger boy's mouth wet
with spit and pre-come looked obscene. Sidney pulled him back on his dick and
this time had Patrick deep-throating him. Patrick struggled to take in his
entire length and gagged as Sidney's dick hit the back of his throat. His
fingers clutched at Sidney's hips for support. The constriction of his throat
around Sidney's dick felt so good. He was so close.
 
Patrick made a sound which sounded like a gurgle and tapped Sidney's thigh.
Sidney immediately loosened his grip on Patrick's hair so he could pull off.
Patrick immediately let out a cough as he pulled away. There was drool running
down his chin. Patrick wiped his mouth with his hand before moving back. He
stroked Sidney's length a few times before taking him into his mouth again. He
hallowed his cheeks and sucked hard. Sidney's grip on his hair tightened as he
felt his balls tighten.
 
"Shit, I'm close," he warned, shutting his eyes.
 
"Come on," Sidney heard Jonny's voice. He hadn't noticed Jonny make his way
over to them. He opened his eyes in time to see Jonny pat Patrick on the back
of his head and say, "Swallow."
 
That was it. Sidney moaned loudly and came without any warning in large spurts.
Patrick whimpered but swallowed it all before he pulled off.      
 
Sidney was still dazed when Patrick got up. "Shit, that was hot," was all
Patrick could say in a hoarse voice before Jonny grabbed his jaw and kissed him
hard. Patrick moaned against Jonny's mouth and wrapped his legs around the
older boy's waist when Jonny lifted him up by the thighs. Jonny had a little
taste of Sidney as he made out with Patrick.
 
Jonny dumped the younger boy on the bed before climbing on top of him. That was
extremely hot and Sidney was sure he was going to get hard again ridiculously
fast. But, he wasn't sure what to do with himself.
 
Jonny paused from kissing Patrick and leaned back on his haunches. He motioned
toward Sidney. "Come here, Sid." His voice was deeper than usual and it sent
shivers down Sidney's spine. His legs moved on their own accord.
 
Jonny tugged him down by the neck and kissed him when he reached the side of
the bed.
 
 
 
Sitting on the edge of the bed, Sidney scanned the room. There was a little bit
of Patrick everywhere from his little knick-knacks scattered here and there, to
his spare clothes in the drawer. The younger boy had practically made home in
Sharpy's guest room, having spent so much time there. Sidney considered Patrick
very lucky because he had many places he could consider home: his own, Jonny's,
Sharpy's, and Sidney's too if he ever got the chance to visit.
 
He sighed, running a hand through his dishevelled hair before bending over to
pick his clothes which were strewn across the floor in front of his feet. He
wondered who else was awake as he pulled them on quietly, trying not to wake up
either Jonny or Patrick who were asleep beside him on the bed. There wasn't
much noise outside.
 
He shuffled over the door and hesitated for a moment. Removing his hand from
the doorknob, he scratched the back of his neck as he glanced back, pulling a
face. How many times was he going to do the walk of shame? He needed to stop
putting himself through this.  
 
He forced himself to leave because facing the rest of them was a better reality
than facing the truth. Luckily, Flower was the only one there when he sauntered
into the kitchen. He guessed that most of them had left or crashed out in the
few rooms available – which were like two.
 
Flower was casually sipping coffee as he scrolled through derp photos from last
night saved in his phone's camera roll. Sidney dumped himself on the chair next
to him at the counter. He rested his head on the cool marble. Flower stared
down at him.
 
"I would say 'good morning’, but by your looks, it's the opposite," he
commented. "You guys obviously did it – by the way you have a hickey on the
back of your neck."
 
Sidney grunted into his arm. He knew that perfectly well. He remembered Jonny
giving him one last night.
 
"So what's the problem?" Flower asked.
 
Sidney simply jutted out his bottom lip in a pout. "Nothing."
 
"Did you get kicked out of bed?" Flower inquired.
 
“No.”
 
Flower observed him for a moment and figured it out. “Ah, I understand what the
problem is now.” He got up from his seat, patting Sidney on the back. “Come
one, let’s get you some coffee first. I’ll get my keys.”
 
“I can have it here.”
 
“I know you don’t want to face either Toews or Kane right now, that’s why you
snuck out before they woke up, so let’s sort out your shit first.”
 
“You’re right,” Sidney bemoaned after weighing his options. He didn’t want to
have that talk, but he didn’t want to face Jonny or Patrick even more. “What
about you? You already had coffee.”
 
“I’ll need another dose after listening to your love woes.”
 
 
Despite Sidney’s demur due to his dishevelled appearance, Flower made sure that
they were seated at one of the tables set outside the café because of the
lovely weather.
 
“Come one, don’t be a whiner,” he admonished. “It’s not healthy to coop up
inside all the time which I’m sure you’re going to be doing especially with
prep leave around the corner.” Sidney couldn’t deny because it’s all true.
“Besides, there’s nothing like fresh air to better your mood…Now, talk to me
freely.”
 
“I don’t really have anything to say.”
 
“Bottling your feelings is equally bad. Why do you make me worry
unnecessarily?”
 
“There’s nothing to worry about.”
 
Flower clearly didn’t believe anything Sidney was saying and it showed on his
face. “Really!” Sidney emphasized, in the most convincing way as possible.
“We’re just messing around; nothing’s serious so you don’t have to worry.”
 
Flowers sighed at his obstinate attitude. “That’s the problem: nothing’s
serious. I can see it clearly that you’re treading to the deep end.”
 
The words resonated through Sidney and he finally forced himself out of his
shell. “I don’t want to face reality yet,” he admitted in a low but firm voice.
Seriousness would only bring that sooner. “I don’t think I’m ready for it.”
They were just having fun and he knew very well about his own feelings toward
Patrick and Jonny, but he wasn’t sure about theirs and he didn’t want to know
any time soon in case they didn’t feel the same about him. He would like to
imagine that he still had a chance.
 
“You have to because it’s going to hit you anyway whether you’re ready for it
or not. And you’re only going to end up hurting yourself more. If you drag this
out any longer, you’ll only have yourself to blame. So think about what I said
and tread carefully.”
 
 “Whatever,” Sidney mumbled, ripping packets of sugar and dumping the content
into his coffee, having been defeated at his resolution.
 
“You’re literally stress craving sugar,” Flower pointed out, and, holy shit, he
was right.
 
 
 
They headed back to Sharpy’s because otherwise Sidney would have had to give a
reason for his unexplained disappearance and he wouldn’t have been able to
without giving away how he felt.
 
When they returned around eleven, the house was still quiet so Sidney assumed
that most of everybody had left while they both weren’t around. They almost
slammed into Sharpy on their way into the living room.
 
“Where did you guys come from?!” Sharpy inquired, allowing them to pass before
following them back inside. Sidney almost wanted to turn back when he saw that
Patrick and Jonny were sitting right there on the couch, competing against one
another in a video game.
 
Patrick noticed first and put down his controller, looking very surprised.
“Sid!”
 
Jonny’s gaze landed on him too. “Oh.”
 
“Where’d you go, man?” Patrick asked, but he sounded kind of nervous.
 
“I just asked the same question,” Sharpy added.
 
Sidney panicked, not knowing how to exactly explain in words why he hadn’t been
there. Luckily, Flower sensed that and answered instead.
 
“Oh, I just felt like having some coffee, but I didn’t want to go alone so I
asked Sid to accompany me.”
 
“Yes, because you’re a teenage girl,” Sharpy quipped. “You do realise that if
you wanted coffee, I have a state-of-the-art, fully-functional coffee machine
right here in my kitchen?”
 
“That’s too much work.”
 
Sharpy’s eyebrow quirked. “And going all the way to a café is less work?”
 
Flower gave it a thought for a second. “Meh,” he dismissed, with a shrug of his
shoulders, and sat down on the couch next to Patrick.
 
Sharpy glanced at Sidney with a questioning look. “I told him the same thing,”
Sidney replied with a steady smile in an attempt to make it look convincing. He
joined the others on the couch and hoped that there wasn’t too much suspicion.
He felt awkward throughout the stay, expecting Jonny or Patrick to bring up
last night, but fortunately nothing of that sort happened. Honestly, it felt
like they wanted to avoid the topic as much as he did. Sidney wasn’t sure why
that upset him even though that was what he had wanted.
 
 
Soon all was forgotten when their exams rolled near. Sidney lost all awareness
of his surroundings and buried himself in his books. He should have probably
started studying a lot sooner because now he had too much on his plate. He
needed to analyse over a hundred pages of his Biology textbook in a span of two
days as well as shift through his notes. He was sprawled over pages and pages
of his notes scattered all over his bed after five hours. He squinted up at the
hand that obscured his view of the diagram of the kidney.
 
"Hey, you still conscious?" Flower asked, snapping his fingers in front of his
face, pulling him out of his trance. "You've been staring at that page for the
past twenty minutes. I think it's time to take a break."
 
Sidney pushed his hand away from his face and got up. "I'm fine," he muttered
grumpily before reaching for his phone and saw that it was almost seven. He had
missed the re-run. There was a text from Kris asking what was coming in their
Math exam. Sidney narrowed his eyes and texted back: are you done with bio? 
 
There was nothing from Jonny so Sidney decided to be the one to initiate
conversation. How much are you done with? He sent it but didn't expect an
answer back because knowing Jonny, he was probably crammed in his room with his
phone, laptop, basically anything that could prove as a distraction, stuffed
away in a drawer.
 
Maybe Sidney should have done the same considering how slow his pace was and he
had a tendency to get distracted; he had only managed to memorise one chapter
so far. It was almost dinner time and he still had three more to do. He let out
a heavy sigh and picked up his book. Time was passing by so quickly that it
felt like only five minutes had gone when Flower was already getting up and
heading to the door.
 
"Hey, man, it's time for dinner. You should get something to eat," he told
Sidney who was furiously scribbling diagrams on a torn piece of paper from his
notebook so it would be easier to retain to memory.
 
"Yeah, yeah, I'll be there. Just give me a few more minutes," he replied
distractedly, his gaze transfixed on the page in front of him. "I just need to
–" He trailed off without realising. Flower sent him a dubious look but left
anyway hoping Sidney would listen and come down on his own.
 
 Sidney had managed to complete a page and decided to quickly go through the
next one when there was rapping at the door a couple of minutes later.
 
"I said I'll be there, Flower!" Sidney snapped. He glared toward the door as it
opened but then all his anger dissipated to just plain exhaustion when he saw
that it was Patrick, who flashed him a timid smile. The door swung further
revealing Jonny, who like him was religiously going through his notes which he
had brought along with him.
 
"We –" Patrick paused thoughtfully. "– Well, mostly me," he corrected. Jutting
his thumb out toward Jonny, he continued: "I had to drag him outside too. You
two..." He shook his head before he glided over to Sidney and wrapped his hand
around his bicep and pulled him softly. "You two study too hard and forget to
eat. So, come on, let's get you some food." 
 
Sidney grudgingly put his pen down and allowed Patrick to drag him out of bed.
When they went out the door, Jonny still had his nose in his notes so Patrick
halted. "Wait!" He plucked them out of Jonny's hands and threw them back into
Sidney's room and shut the door before pulling Jonny's arm to lead him forward.
"Let's go," he said, ignoring Jonny's protests. "A break will not kill you,
jeez."
 
Jonny grumbled a bit more under his breath at the supposed audacity, but Sidney
could tell he appreciated the concern by the way he squeezed Patrick's hand
affectionately when he slid his hand down Jonny's forearm to link their fingers
together.
 
Sidney was slipping back into his awkward self but Jonny helped him out of it
by wrapping his free arm around his shoulders and pulling him alongside them.
He ruffled Sidney's dark hair causing him to smile and loosen up. They
separated when they made it to the dinning hall. Flower was complaining loudly
when they settled down with their food.
 
"I can't believe we have our first exam the day after thanksgiving," he stated
furiously.
 
"Canadian thanksgiving," Kesler corrected as he passed by behind him.
 
Flower made a face at him. "Oh, fuck you."
 
"Hey, Tazer," Sharpy called, examining Jonny's plate very closely. He was
eyeing all the greens which covered majority of his plate. "Are you vegan now?"
 
"You know I'm not, Sharpy," Jonny replied impatiently.
 
Seabs snorted. "If he could, he would be growing his own garden here."
 
"Yeah, if he didn't already have one at home," Patrick revealed. "You guys have
to check out his roof."
 
"Kaner!" Jonny admonished. "I'm never telling you anything again."
 
 
 
Days passed by quickly and soon they were mid-way through their exams. Sidney
was fast asleep when he felt a jerk. He groaned and forced his eyes open when
he heard Flower shout his name. "What are you doing, Sid? Hurry and get up!"
 
Sidney squinted, tilting his head up to look at Flower who was now standing at
the door looking ready to sprint out any second.
 
"You're going to be late for your exam. It's starting in five minutes! Hurry!"
Flower exclaimed before he rushed out into the hallway.
 
Sidney bolted up right and took a look at the alarm clock and, shit, it was
almost nine. He quickly got up and ran to the bathroom. He grabbed whatever he
could find and pulled it on. Without even a glance at his reflection, he ran
out of the room.
 
He saw Sharpy leaning against the railings of the stairway looking like he just
woke up. He had his face shoved into a newspaper, probably looking through the
scores in the sports section.
 
"Hey, where are you running off to in a rush," Sharpy stopped him as he was
about to go down the stairs.
 
"I'm late," Sidney responded hastily, about to take off again.
 
Sharpy stopped him by grabbing his elbow. "Wait, wait, calm down. Late for
what?"
 
"The exam!" Sidney exclaimed in frustration.
 
Sharpy looked him up and down before responding: "What exam? It's Sunday." 
 
"What?" Sidney's sleep addled mind took a minute to catch on.
 
"It's Sunday," Sharpy repeated. "There's no exam. Go back to sleep. You look
like a maniac."
 
Sidney groaned and heard laughter behind him. He turned around and saw Flower
holding his phone up, recording everything. "I got you, man," Flower said in
between laughs. "I can't believe you fell for that. You look ridiculous."
 
Sidney glanced down and yeah that was very much true. He had his yellow crocs
on and one of his pant legs was tucked in his sock up halfway to his knee. And
he was pretty sure his hair was a bird's nest because he hadn't bothered
combing it.
 
"I'm going to kill you!" Sidney yelled before running after Flower who was
cackling even harder as tried to get away. 
 
Unfortunately, by the end of the day, Flower made sure to share the story as
well as the video with anybody who would listen. Jonny laughed the hardest
while Kris looked on with sympathy.
 
 
 
The saddest thing was that Sidney was probably dressed even worse, if that was
possible, by the time of their last exam during the end of next week. But this
time he gave zero fucks. He was in a terrible mood after having slept less than
four hours in the past week. His face was puffy, mostly his eyes, and his hair
was in different directions after running his hands through them for a
millionth time. By some dumb luck, he ended up wearing his yellow crocs again.
He didn't care.
 
"Woho," Sharpy whistled when he saw Sidney shuffling toward them with hunched
shoulders.
 
"And here I thought last Sunday was worse. Now this is something else
entirely."
 
Sidney just gave him the most withering look. "Yikes, backing off," Sharpy
yielded.
 
"Don't talk to him," Flower spoke like Sidney wasn't standing right there.
"He's in a terrible mood. He snapped at me ten times since he woke up which was
less than an hour ago. He's scary when he's cranky." He whispered the last part
and Sharpy nodded in agreement. Even Jonny and Patrick made sure to give him
some space. Good, because Sidney wasn't in a mood to talk.
 
The rest of the guys continued their conversation outside the exam hall when
some dude, whose name Sidney couldn't be bothered to remember, walked up to
them. They took in the sight of him holding just one pen in his hand and no bag
in sight. Not even a pencil case, or even a calculator which was ridiculous
because they had a Math exam. "Hey, guys," he greeted in a cheery mood like he
was here on a morning stroll instead of giving an exam.
 
"And then there are people like him," Jonny commented under his breath, shaking
his head at him.
 
 
Sidney was glad their exams had ended just in time for the Montreal Canadiens
to face the Boston Bruins. He and Patrick had already planned to watch it
together at Jonny's house. It was sort of a tradition of theirs to watch
whatever random hockey game was on in the middle of the night during selective
days at Patrick's dorm room. Recently, however, they took this to Jonny's house
because they were inclined to make a lot of noise.
 
He remembered when the two of them screamed so loud around one a.m. when the
Colorado Avalanche won against the Winnipeg Jets during OT. The RA had burst
into the room and, oh, man, the scolding they received when he realised what
had really happened.
   
It was around seven when Sidney sat down on Jonny's couch and flicked through
the channels until he reached the one he wanted. Jonny was back ordering pizza
somewhere as this was considered a special occasion. Patrick who had just
finished a phone call with Patrick number two, jumped over Sidney's legs and
settled on the spot next to him.
 
"Sharpy's on a date with Abby right now so he can't watch the game," Patrick
informed Sidney. "He wants me to keep him updated on the score." 
 
"Oh," Sidney replied.
 
"I told him if he's going to whine about it in the end, he should probably plan
dates around the schedule," Patrick said before he moved to lay down on the
couch.
 
"What are you doing?" Sidney asked when Patrick lifted his left arm so he could
rest his head in Sidney's lap.
 
"Using you as pillow," Patrick replied with a cheeky smile.
 
Sidney let out a small snort in amusement. "Yeah, I can see that." He threaded
his fingers through Patrick's hair as the younger boy shifted again and crossed
his arms before facing right toward the television as the game started.
 
Sidney looked back over his shoulder in the direction of the kitchen to see
where Jonny disappeared off to. He could see the other boy arguing on the phone
through the open space. What could he be arguing about? Sidney wondered. He was
only ordering pizza. Whatever. He turned his attention back to the game.
 
Jonny entered the living room and came to a stand behind the couch. He stared
down at the two of them.
 
Sidney looked back. "What?"
 
"Patrick, what are you doing?" Jonny asked.
 
"Watching the game, duh," Patrick replied, entirely focused on what was
happening on screen.
 
Jonny's lips pressed into a thin line when he didn't get the younger boy's
attention. That was not what he meant, but he didn't say. Instead, he walked
over to the other side and lifted Patrick's legs to make space for himself.
After getting settled, he pulled the younger boy toward him and shifted him
around until Patrick's back was against his chest. Of course, the younger boy
didn't go without a struggle and tried to elbow Jonny for disturbing him but
settled contently when Jonny wrapped his arms around him in a hug and pressed a
kiss to the back of his head. It was sweet.   
 
"What were you arguing about?" Sidney decided to ask.
 
Jonny waved his hand in dismissal. "Eh? They kept offering me deals that I
didn't want. I was like: 'lady, no thanks’, but that didn't stop her."
 
"You know they are only trying to be helpful," Sidney added.
 
"Yeah, help is great when warranted," Jonny retorted.
 
"Only you would say that, you jerk," Patrick commented before squeaking when
Jonny pinched his side in response. They returned their attention back to the
game when the Canadiens made it 1-0. Somewhere in between, Patrick stretched
his legs to rest his socks clad feet in Sidney's lap. In the end, the Boston
Bruins won 4-3 despite the fact that all the stats favoured the Canadiens.
"See, this is what I'm talking about," Jonny supplied.
 
"Oh, shut up, Jonny. You should be focus more on the fact that Canada sucks,"
Patrick retorted. But their bickering didn't end there and Sidney watched on
amused. It was funny how much Jonny was against stats and how much of a stat
nerd Patrick was. They both were opposites, yet similar at the same time. 
 
 
 
The atmosphere was incredibly tense the following week with all of them highly
strung due to increasing piles of assignments, incessant hours of practice, and
the depressing news of their results being posted any day soon. Sharpy and
Flower, however, were on a mission to keep the mood light with their constant
pranking. Yeah, it was hilarious for the spectators but an added on misery for
whoever fell victim to their devious antics.
 
Sidney was a favourite target because he was unfortunate enough to be sharing a
room with Flower who seemed to enjoy his lively post-prank reactions. And today
was one of those days. He was walking past the dormitory building when suddenly
he was drenched in a shower of cold water which seemed to have materialised out
of no where. He stood there, hunched over in shock, as water dripped from him
onto the pavement. His lips pressed together into a thin line. He didn’t need
to glance up to know that Flower was standing somewhere above him in the
building with a large bucket in hand. He wiped at his face furiously before
marching inside to head to his room. He ignored all the curious looks he
received on his way.
 
When he finally reached his dorm, he fumbled with the doorknob with a
frustrated groan, pushing against the door when it refused to budge. He let out
a string of curses when he realised that Flower had locked it. Sidney was going
to end him! But first, he needed a change of clothes because it was almost
winter and it was freezing enough without having to be wet.
 
He hurried to Jonny’s but nobody was there and it didn’t feel right taking
something without asking so he rushed to Patrick’s room instead. He burst in
through the door, shaking violently. He was going to freeze to death and it was
going to be all Flower’s fault. With a quick glance toward Patrick, who was
seated at his desk facing away from him, Sidney made a beeline for the chest of
drawers. “Hey, Kaner, I need to borrow some clothes.”
 
Patrick twisted his neck to look back at the older boy as he rummaged through
his drawers. “Sure, no problem. But why are you wet?”
 
“Thanks,” Sidney said, finding a pair of sweats and a henley. “Flower’s attempt
at a prank,” he explained.
 
“But, wait –” Patrick attempted to warn as Sidney took off his shirt. He was
about to take his pants off, too, but immediately paused when Patrick yelled,
“woah woah woah!” Along with it he heard a soft, “oh!” The voice was too
feminine to come from Patrick, and his head snapped to where the younger boy
was sitting with his laptop open in front of him and on the screen was a girl
who looked like a pretty version of Patrick with long, blonde hair. It came
crashing to Sidney that he had rudely interrupted Patrick’s video chat with his
sister.
 
“Hi,” she greeted with a giggle, obviously pleased.
 
Sidney waved back awkwardly and then flushed red when he remembered that he was
half-naked in front of Patrick’s sister.
 
“Buddy, you might want to change in the bathroom,” Patrick stated, shielding
his laptop screen protectively to obscure his sister’s view. “Say bye, Erica.”
 
“I’ll go do that,” Sidney said. “Bye!” Erica sung after him as he scampered
off.        
 
“He’s cute,” he heard when he was about to shut the bathroom door and paused to
listen to Patrick’s reply.
 
“Yeah, yeah, and you have a boyfriend,” the younger boy replied in a bitter
tone, clearly ready to change the topic.
 
“I’m not talking about for me –” Sidney shut the door and leaned back against
it with a sigh. How embarrassing. He couldn’t believe he stripped in front of
Patrick’s sister.
 
   
 
Flower should consider himself lucky that Sidney was too embarrassed after what
had happened to go hunt him down. Instead, he took refuge in the common room,
passing the time until it was time for the One Tree Hill episode to air.
 
There was this silence and tranquillity outside in the halls; it made him feel
like he was alone in the world. Lost in deep thought, he was startled when the
door creaked open. He released a relieved sigh when he saw that it was Jonny.
 
“You scared me.” He scooted over to make space for the other boy.
 
“What are you doing? I haven’t seen you all day,” Jonny said as he sat down.
 
“I’m hiding,” he admitted.
 
“From what?”
 
He shook his head. “Never mind.”
 
Jonny glanced at the television. “You’re watching One Tree Hill…I didn’t know
you were into it.”
 
Sidney shrugged. “Yeah, I kind of stumbled upon it one day and liked it.”
 
“How come I’ve never seen you watching it?”
 
“I always come here to watch it – it’s become sort of a tradition.”
 
“You and your traditions.” Jonny shoved him playfully, endearment clear in his
tone.
 
In return, Sidney allowed himself to fall back against Jonny’s shoulder. He let
out a yelp when Jonny leaned back and his upper body landed on the other boy’s
lap instead. His flailing arms almost hit Jonny in the face.
 
“Careful,” Jonny said as he weaved his fingers through Sidney’s hair. That felt
nice so Sidney adjusted himself until his head remained in Jonny’s lap and his
feet hung over the armrest.
 
“Maybe you can ask Kaner to keep you company next time. I’m pretty sure he has
already seen all the seasons. He’s constantly watching Gossip Girl on his
laptop these days,” Jonny spoke, filling the silence. “It’s totally the
influence of his sisters and he’s positively unashamed. You should have seen
him arguing with Sharpy about keeping in touch with your feminine side.”
 
Sidney scrunched his face. “I think I’ll pass; he has too many opinions and we
usually end up arguing over something.”
 
“Yeah,” Jonny chuckled, and Sidney didn’t need to look at his face to know that
the corner of his eyes were crinkled.
 
Just like that they continued watching the episode with Jonny casually running
his hands through Sidney’s hair, sometimes giving his scalp a light massage,
and somehow they landed on the topic of the new kid, Seguin, totally having a
crush on Patrick. Having spoken of Patrick, it was a first time in a long while
that Sidney was spending time with Jonny without having to share it with the
younger boy, and he really appreciated having his best friend back even if it
was just for a night. Initially, he had been feeling like Jonny hadn’t fully
accepted him yet, but now it felt like that could change and that there really
was a chance for the three of them to be in a proper relationship.
 
 
 
 
The weekend came soon and Jonny was hosting a team dinner at his place. There
wasn’t enough space on the couches to accommodate twenty hockey players so bean
bags were scattered here and there to seat the rest of them.
 
“Guys, today you are all eating healthy,” Jonny announced.
“Remember, we are doing this for hockey,” he added when a collective groan
spread across the living room.
 
“Hey,” Sharpy called to grab Jonny’s attention. “I think the phone’s ringing.”
 
Jonny eyebrows furrowed. “Really? I don’t hear anything.”
 
Duncs joined in. “I can hear it too.”
 
“I don’t hear anything,” Kris stated, confused. Flower elbowed him in the side
and he quickly caught on what was happening and coughed awkwardly into his
fist, “Yeah, um, I think it’s coming from the bedroom.”
 
Jonny tilted his head as he glanced at the spot on the table where the
telephone was missing from its stand and frowned. “Strange…I’ll be right back.”
He left for his bedroom.
 
“Nice one,” Flower whispered to Kris.
 
Sharpy leaned back, craning his neck to watch as Jonny disappeared down the
hallway, making sure he was out of earshot before he spoke. He clapped his
hands together, “Quickly, before he comes back… Obviously everyone here wants a
break from all the healthy stuff so let’s order a pizza.” There was a murmur of
agreement.
 
“I have a plan,” Sharpy stated, and they all listened in attentively as he
explained, “I’ll order the pizza and we’ll sneak it in from the bedroom and we
all can take turns to eat a slice or two.”  
 
“How are you going to sneak it into the bedroom?” Shawzy asked.
 
“Leave that to me,” Sharpy answered confidently. “You guys text me the toppings
you want and I’ll order in favour of the majority, alright?”
 
“Shh,” someone whispered. “He’s coming back.” They all quietened down and
suddenly there was silence across the room.
 
“I couldn’t find it,” Jonny said, stepping into the living room.
 
Sharpy discreetly whipped out the telephone which he had hidden behind the
cushion. “Oh, my mistake, it was right here.”
 
Jonny gave him a suspicious look and Patrick stifled his snickering behind his
hand.
 
“Why are you all so quiet? It usually sounds like a fish market,” Jonny
commented when he noticed everybody silently staring at him.
 
“We were just waiting for you to get the party started,” Seabs said.
 
“Well, I’m here now.”
 
 
During dinner, they politely ate what Jonny had offered, saving some room in
their stomachs for pizza. The bell suddenly rang and Sharpy stopped Jonny from
getting up from his seat at the table.
 
“I’ll go get it – I need to get some fresh air anyway,” he spoke.
 
He headed over to the front door and opened it enough to stick his head out.
The delivery guy was waiting patiently in front of him.
 
“Hey, man,” Sharpy greeted. “I know this might sound weird, but could you do me
a favour and deliver it from the first window to my right?”
 
The delivery guy tipped his cap back and shrugged his shoulders. “Yeah, no
problem, I’ve gotten weirder requests.”
 
Sharpy clicked his tongue, pointing a finger gun his way. “Thanks – see you in
a few. Someone else will take it from there.”
 
“Who was it?” Jonny asked when he returned.
 
Sharpy sat back down in his chair. “Oh, it was just someone who got the wrong
address.” He took note that Duncs had already dutifully left his seat to head
over to the guest bedroom.
 
Ten minutes later, he returned and tapped Corey on the back as he passed.
 
“I’m going to head over to the bathroom really quick,” Corey said, and then
made his escape.
 
Turn by turn, they sneaked into the guest bedroom and quickly scarfed down a
slice. However, Jonny was getting really suspicious of their constant bathroom-
breaks so Shawzy panicked and squeaked, “I’m getting a smoke.” Patrick and
Sharpy slapped their foreheads.
 
“Since when do you smoke?” Jonny demanded. “You know it’s bad for your health.
How could you do this to yourself?!”
 
Seabs came to his rescue. “I’ll go talk some sense into him. Privately.” He
grabbed Shawzy by the shoulders and pushed him in the direction of the hallway.
He smacked the back of the younger boy’s head and hissed, “Think before you
open that big mouth of yours.”
 
Sidney couldn’t help but laugh. He wondered how long it would take for Jonny to
notice. He was sure that Flower already had a bet going. As time passed, they
all dispersed around the house and making trips to the guest bedroom without
being noticed had gotten easier. Sidney decided to join in their antics, but
waited until the very end for his turn to make sure that everybody was able to
get theirs. He didn’t want anyone to miss out because they were out of pizza.
 
He was getting hungrier as the minute passed and was relieved when it was his
turn. However, he lost his appetite when he saw Jonny and Patrick making out
against the wall in the hallway. He froze, unable to tear his gaze away from
them. He was pretty sure he was standing there gaping like a fish.
 
Patrick’s eyes flickered over briefly when the two pulled apart, and it was
like he looked right through Sidney. He felt invisible, staring at Patrick as
he pulled Jonny by the hand into the bedroom. They always included him, and he
really thought they were going somewhere. He didn’t know why he had thought
such a thing because in the end they were Jonny and Patrick, Patrick and Jonny,
and he was just an accessory to their relationship. Flower was right, he really
had brought this upon himself.
 
The truth really hurt and he got it the hard way.
 
 
 
 
The next morning, Sidney woke up to his face smashed against the couch. He was
pretty sure he drooled a little on the leather. He pushed himself up and
glanced around. The whole house was quiet and surprisingly clean. That meant
that the guys had kept their word and cleaned before they left. He was proud of
them.
 
As he made his way to the bathroom, he tried not to think too much of what
happened out in the hallway last night. He really needed to take a few steps
back because maybe he had expected too much. Wow, perspectives really did
change in the morning, he thought as he stared at himself in the mirror. It was
true what they said about sleeping away your problems because breakdowns really
do seem silly the next day.
 
He washed his face and brushed his teeth with the toothbrush Jonny kept in the
cabinet for him. He returned back to the living room and stood there in the
middle, scratching his head. He wasn’t really sure what he was supposed to do
now. He didn’t want to go and check if Jonny was awake, like he usually did,
because he was afraid of what he’d see even though he wasn’t really sure if
Patrick was even there. He had just come to terms with the whole thing and he
really didn’t need anything bursting the bubble of peace he had created for
himself.
 
Ugh, he should have just left with Flower and Kris last night. What had he been
thinking staying? The only thing to do now was to wait so he re-established
himself with the couch. He really came to loathe his awkward self.
 
To pass the time, he opened Instagram and immediately regretted it when the
first thing he saw was a picture of his own face, drooling as he slept.
Courtesy of Flower. You snooze, you lose, Sid, it was captioned which made him
roll his eyes. It already had a thousand likes and had probably been viewed by
all of Flower’s three-thousand followers. Hadn’t he suffered enough under the
other boy’s hands. He was surely going to take revenge now.
 
“Hey.” Sidney startled at the voice and turned his head to the right to see
Patrick coming out of the hallway. He couldn’t find his own voice to return the
greeting.
 
The younger boy was dressed in comfortable pyjama-bottoms and a tee, while
Sidney was still in his clothes from last night.
 
“Patrick,” Patrick addressed with a playful smile touching the corner of his
lips as he came to a stand in front of him. Sidney was taken by surprise
because nobody ever called him by his middle name.
 
He decided to play along. “Timothy.”
 
Patrick snorted in amusement.
 
He moved his feet to the ground so Patrick could sit down next to him. Even the
joking couldn’t help him forget or numb his feelings.
 
 “What’s up? You look a little bummed,” the younger boy said, placing a
comforting hand on Sidney’s knee. Sidney swallowed at the touch.
 
“I’m not,” but he didn’t really sound convincing.
 
“Is it because Flower posted that picture of you?” Patrick shifted himself
around to face him, crossing his legs.
 
“You saw that too?”
 
Patrick grinned. “Of course.”
 
“To answer your question: no – Flower has posted much worse.”
 
“Oooh, now I’m curious. I might just have to stalk his Instagram.”
 
Sidney waved his hand. “Don’t even bother. I got him to delete the pictures.” 
 
“That’s too bad.”
 
Patrick suddenly got up after a few minutes of silence and stood in front of
Sidney. “I know what’ll make you feel better!”
 
Sidney peered at him in curiosity. “What?”
 
“Pancakes!”
 
Sidney’s stomach rumbled at the reminder of food, especially the thought of a
fresh batch of pancakes dripped in maple syrup.
 
“We can head over to the arcade afterwards,” Patrick added in an attempt to
sweeten the deal. He didn’t need to because he had already won over Sidney with
the mere mention of food.
 
“Alright,” he found himself agreeing even though a part of him knew that it was
a bad idea. His brain and his heart were at odds with one another, but he found
his heart winning – love really was a deadly weapon.
 
“Where’s Jonny?” He forced himself to ask.
 
“He’s asleep.”
 
“Shouldn’t we wake him up?”
 
“Nah, he barely gets enough hours so let’s let him sleep in for a bit,” Patrick
answered. “Meanwhile –” The corner of his lip curved upwards as he spoke, and
there was a glint in his eyes. “– you and I can have fun.”
 
It was the way he said it that made Sidney’s heart race and his stomach
flutter; like they were about to do something that they weren’t supposed to.
Leave it to Patrick to make everything sound suggestive. Or maybe Sidney was
perceiving it wrong and it was just his desperation grasping at straws. That
was probably be the case.
 
Leaving Jonny behind alone in the house, they went to a local diner that was
five minutes away. The place was more than familiar to them considering they
went there for breakfast after their morning walk every time they stayed over.
 
The pancakes were heavenly. They ate in comfortable silence, filling their
stomachs to their heart’s desire. Sidney couldn’t help but look up every now
and then and stare at the way the rays of sunlight streamed through the large
windows and landed on Patrick’s profile, enhancing his features. He looked
doll-like with his glassy-blue eyes and dark-blonde locks that almost seemed
golden under the streaks of sunlight.    
 
“What?” Patrick asked when he took note of Sidney’s flickering gaze. His hand
holding the fork paused mid-way as he studied the other boy.
 
Sidney sent him a small smile and shook his head. “Nothing,” he mumbled, before
returning his attention to the plate in front of him. He glanced up to observe
Patrick a few seconds later and found the boy with his head ducked. His cheeks
were rosy as if he had realised Sidney’s reason for staring.
 
Sidney liked the idea that he could get Patrick to blush like that and the
feeling of satisfaction filled him as he broke off a piece of the pancake with
his fork. However, his smile faltered as he remembered the emotionless look on
the younger boy’s face when he had looked right at him last night. Sidney put
his fork back down and it made a clinking noise against the plate. He couldn’t
help but wonder what happened between the two of them last night. Did they go
all the way?
 
He squeezed his eyes shut and pushed away the thoughts because that was exactly
what he wanted to avoid. Spending time with either Patrick or Jonny was the
last thing he needed while he wanted to create some space to find himself and
get his shit together. But here he was, digging his own grave and it was
becoming deeper and deeper.
 
“Hey, what’s wrong?” Patrick asked, his eyes were full of concern, when he
noticed that Sidney had stopped eating. “Are you full?”
 
Sidney nodded, pushing away his plate. He really did lose his appetite. “I’m
not hungry anymore,” he answered. His tone was off.
 
“Alright. Let me just finish up and then we can head over to the arcade,”
Patrick said in a soft voice, probably realizing that something was up.
 
It was confirmed by the fact that he obviously let Sidney win all the games at
the arcade, even the stupid racing game which he was absolutely anal about
winning every time they came there to play. He was perfect at it, while Sidney
would somehow crash his car every single turn but still managed to win in the
end.
 
“Beginner’s luck,” Patrick answered, and Sidney rolled his eyes. It wasn’t his
first time playing.
 
 
 
 
They took a taxi back to the dorms and this time Sidney paid because Patrick
had taken care of the bill at the diner.
 
“So, what do you want to do now?” Patrick asked, coming to a stop at the
building’s entrance.
 
Sidney mulled it over before asking, “Do you want to watch One Tree Hill?”
 
Patrick’s eyes lit up. “Really? I didn’t know you watched it.”
 
“Yeah, well.” Sidney broke off with a shrug.
 
“Let me bring my laptop!”
 
“No need, we can just watch in your room.”
 
 
 
There was rapid knocking on the door which caused Sidney and Patrick to control
their laughter.
 
“Alright, alright, I’m coming,” Patrick said in between huffs of laughter, and
got up from bed. Sidney paused the episode they were watching.
 
When Patrick opened the door, the grin on his face vanished at Jonny’s livid
expression.
 
“Can you answer your damn phone for once!” Jonny yelled, before pushing past
him into the room.
 
“I’m sorry!” Patrick exclaimed, following after him, forgetting to close the
door. “My phone must have been on silent.”
 
However, Jonny wasn’t listening as he stared in disbelief at Sidney, who was
sitting on the bed trying to mind his own business.
 
“Oh, I’m sorry, am I interrupting something?” He demanded sarcastically; his
hands rested on his hips as his eyes shifted angrily from his best friend to
his boyfriend. Patrick frowned at the accusing tone.
 
“What’s your problem, Jonny?”
 
Jonny narrowed his eyes and jabbed a finger in Patrick’s direction. “Why is it
that whenever you don’t bother to answer your phone, you’re with him?”
 
Sidney flinched at the way Jonny spat “him” with such venom. The word was a
poisonous arrow that struck him right in the heart. He had never heard Jonny
refer to him with such spite.
 
Patrick understood that Jonny was pissed at him, but it wasn’t fair that he was
taking it out on Sidney too. He could practically see the fire blazing in
Jonny’s eyes – he was like a forest fire on an unstoppable roll, uncaring of
who he burnt along the way. Patrick knew that if he retorted back, he would
only add fuel to the fire.
 
So, instead he took the high road and apologised. “I’m sorry, Tazer.” He hugged
him from behind.
 
But, Jonny was stiff in his arms. “I searched for an hour…You weren’t there
when I woke up and you didn’t even bother to tell me where you went,” he
mumbled, grabbing Patrick’s wrists and releasing himself from his hold.
 
Patrick watched in silence as Jonny strode out of the room.
 
“I said I was sorry,” Patrick muttered to no one in particular after Jonny had
left.
 
Sidney was still frozen in his spot on the bed. He didn’t know what to do. This
wasn’t what he wanted. He didn’t want to become a reason for his best friends
fighting with one another, or even worse: a reason for their break up. This was
all his fault. He should have never tried to be part of their relationship in
the first place. He knew that it could result in them being driven apart and
yet he had been selfish.
 
“Um, I’m sorry,” he said before getting up and leaving despite Patrick’s
protest.
 
He felt bad for leaving Patrick alone, but there was a chance that Jonny could
come back and it would only upset him further if he saw that Sidney was still
there.
 
 
 
 
He avoided any contact with Patrick and Jonny, and he was pretty sure they both
were still avoiding each other too.
 
 Apparently, the three of them weren’t conspicuous about it because everyone
had noticed.
 
“I’m surprised that you aren’t hanging out with Jonny or Patrick,” Kris
mentioned while the two of them were having coffee at the café near campus and
he was the most oblivious person ever. Sidney just hummed noncommittally,
trying to evade the other boy’s attempt at prying. His mind was preoccupied
with thought of the time when they were all sitting here planning a party. It
felt like such a long time ago.
 
“You know? You guys are practically dating.”
 
Sidney’s gaze snapped toward Kris’. “What makes you say that?”
 
Kris smiled at finally grabbing his attention. “You do everything together;
you’re attached to the hip…So it’s surprising to see you without one of them
around.”
 
Sidney twisted his neck to glance out the window at the bustle in the street in
front. He thought back to the time when Jonny had first befriended Patrick. The
younger boy had just transferred to their boarding school and blew everyone
away with his stick-handling skills. His magic hands were the talk of the town
for weeks. Despite his popularity, he was quiet and had mostly kept to himself,
even in the locker room. He was loud in his own way: hockey was his way of
expression. He scored flashy goals followed by cheeky celebrations week in and
week out. Everyone was enamoured by him, especially Jonny, who used his
captaincy as an excuse to get closer to Patrick and eventually managed to rope
him into a friendship. 
 
Sidney didn’t used to be too happy with Patrick being added to their circle of
friends back then, especially when Jonny wouldn’t stop talking about him. It
was always Kaner this and Kaner that. Though, some things were still the same.
Sidney had used to feel that Jonny was replacing him with Patrick and it wasn’t
until Jonny asked the other boy out that Sidney had realised that Jonny had a
different kind of love for Patrick. And now that Kris mentioned it, Jonny tried
to include him into everything possible, and Patrick, too, so he never really
felt like a third wheel around them. Kris was right, they did do everything
together. The only thing left had been the sex part and now they did that too.
Jesus, he was practically in a relationship with them.
 
But now he knew that he had to change things. Maybe he was still afraid that
they would end up ditching him and that fear lead to him clinging closer which
sprung his feelings. For once, he needed to stop thinking about himself and fix
things. After Jonny’s outburst, he had realised that he wasn’t the only one
with insecurities.
 
Sidney took a deep breath. He needed to talk to Geno.
 
“Look, I got to go,” he told Kris.
 
His mind was too preoccupied to comprehend Kris’ response. He pulled out his
wallet and fished out a few notes to pay for his half of the meal before
leaving.
 
Hurrying back to the campus, he managed to crash into somebody on the sidewalk.
 
“Sorry,” he said, and was about to step around the person when he heard his
name. “Crosby?”
 
His head whipped around to look at the person he collided into.
 
“Giroux?”
 
Said boy grinned at him, showing off his missing tooth. “Hey, man, I haven’t
seen you in a while.”
 
“Me neither,” Sidney answered in a daze. Seeing the boy in flesh again revived
old feelings. They used to be hard-core rivals back in middle school before
Sidney moved away. Seeing the ginger-haired boy made him feel extremely
nostalgic.
 
“What are you doing here?”
 
“Oh, I’m just here to visit my aunt…you go to school here, don’t you?”
 
Sidney nodded his head.
 
“I’m here for a week so I guess I’ll see you around,” Giroux said.
 
“Yeah, I guess you will.”
 
Sidney didn’t miss how the other boy deflated at his lacklustre response. He
wanted to hit himself for being so socially awkward.  “Hey,” he stopped Giroux
before he walked away.
 
“Do you, maybe, want to have coffee sometime and catch up?”
 
The smile returned even brighter on Giroux’s face. “I’d like that.”
 
 
 
 
Sidney rushed back to the dorms after exchanging numbers with old-frenemy.
 
Meeting Giroux gave him an idea, but he needed to talk to Geno first.
 
Flower was asleep when he entered the room so he tiptoed into the bathroom with
his phone clutched in his hand. Leaning back against the door, he slid down to
the floor. He dialled Geno’s number and hoped that the Russian picked up.
 
“Sid!” Geno’s voice greeted cheerily after the third ring.
 
Sidney decided to cut right to it. “Hey, Geno, I need some advice.”
 
He narrated everything that had happened during the last weekend and Geno
listened patiently. “So what do you think I should do?”
 
Geno hummed. “I think Sidney already know what to do...”
 
Sidney stared down at his sweats, picking at the fabric with his index finger
and thumb as he listened to Geno’s words.
 
“...Be careful, Sid. Don’t get hurt…And be good.”
 
Geno was right, he had already made up his mind on what he was going to do.
 
“Thanks, bud.”
 
He heard voices on the line and there was some rustling before Geno spoke. “I
gotta go now, Sid…Goodbye.”
 
“I’ll call you later – bye,” Sidney answered.
 
“Is that Sidney Crosby?!” Sidney heard Ovechkin’s boisterous voice on the line
and grimaced. He immediately ended the call before Oveckhin could get to the
phone. The last thing he needed right now was to be forced into a conversation
with Geno’s loud-mouthed Russians friends who got on his nerve.
 
 
 
 
Sidney decided to seek out Jonny. He anxiously waited outside Jonny’s room and
build up the courage to go talk to him. He didn’t know how the other boy would
react. He was afraid that Jonny would shut the door on his face as soon as he
found out that it was him at the door.
 
He quickly knocked before he lost his nerve.
 
“Come in,” he heard Jonny’s voice say.
 
He sucked in a breath and turned the doorknob.
 
“Hey,” he said in a shaky voice.
 
Jonny was sitting at the edge of the bed with his face turned in the direction
of the door. He looked surprised for a second before his poker face returned.
“Hey,” he greeted back, and Sidney studied his response and found no malice
behind his tone. In fact, it was neutral.
 
Sidney took that as a good sign and entered.
 
Seabs was also in the room, standing near the bathroom. He detected the tension
between the two of them and decided to take his leave. “Hey, Sid – I’ll see you
guys later.”
 
Sidney waited until he left the room before he made his way tentatively over to
Jonny. He decided to open with an apology. “I’m sorry for upsetting you.”
 
Jonny let out a tired sigh. “No, I’m sorry…I overreacted and acted like a
douchebag.” Sidney pulled the chair away from the desk and sat down in front of
him.
 
"Me and Kaner fight all the time and to tell you the truth, I was almost afraid
that he would fall for you and get over me," Jonny admitted. “He has a crush on
you, you know that right?”
 
Sidney remained quiet and allowed Jonny to say his piece and relieve his
emotions.
 
“Ah, but I think I messed up…I let my emotions get the better of me and acted
out exactly how I shouldn’t have. He probably hates me now. What if he doesn’t
want to be with me anymore?”
 
"That's the most ridiculous thing that I've heard," Sidney responded. "He in
love with you. And you only. Whenever we're alone together, you're all he talks
about most of the time. We can't have a conversation without him mentioning
you." Jonny ducked his head slightly and a small smile escaped. “Even on that
day, he was worried about you. He didn’t want to wake you up because he thought
you could use more sleep. He didn’t forget about you, everything we did, he
mentioned that you would like this or that.”
 
“I feel terrible,” Jonny mumbled.
 
“You should,” Sidney chided. “You know better than to doubt Kaner. You should
trust him.” He paused, licking his lips. “And, you shouldn’t feel threatened by
me…I like someone else,” he lied through his teeth.
 
Jonny looked at him sharply. “Who?”
 
Sidney scratched the back of his head. “Um, Giroux.” He chose him because he
was a safe bet. He couldn’t say any name from their circle because Jonny would
know otherwise. Giroux on the other hand…Jonny had always believed that the two
of them had some sexual-tension of sort sprouted from their rivalry back in
middle school.
 
Jonny’s eyes widened. “Giroux?! But we haven’t seen him since middle school.”
 
“I met him a few days ago and old feelings re-surfaced,” it wasn’t a total lie
other than the fact that he met the other boy just this morning.
 
“I knew there was something going on between you too!” Jonny exclaimed.
 
Sidney rolled his eyes at his glee. Because, ew, never.
 
Still, he decided to throw Jonny a bone. “Yeah, and we’re meeting this Thursday
for coffee.” He couldn’t wait for Giroux to return back to his hometown so he
could pretend to get over their tragic love story.
 
 
 
 
He was glad that he managed to repair things with Jonny. The two of them walked
to the dining hall together and Sidney had his arm over Jonny’s shoulder. They
weaved their way between the masses and toward their table.
 
Patrick was already seated, and looked startled to see the two of them
together. Maybe even a little panicked. Sidney knew what he was thinking: that
the two of them had amended things but not with him. Sidney sent him an
assuring smile and separated from Jonny to take a seat opposite Patrick, next
to Flower.
 
Jonny sat down next to Patrick, squeezing his hand under the table. “I’m
sorry,” he mouthed and Patrick accepted his apology enthusiastically.
 
Though unspoken, it was clear that Sidney would remain in his best friend role
– basically he had friend zoned himself. If he truly loved them, he needed to
let them go. Besides, Jonny and Patrick were applying to go somewhere in
Chicago whereas he had different plans for university. It wouldn’t have worked
out anyway no matter how much he wanted it to. So it was for the better and he
felt surprisingly content with his decision and for the first time in a long
while, his heart was at peace with his mind.
 
 
 
                                      ---
Thanks for reading! 
Enjoy these gifs and images of random interactions (none of them are mine)
Pic of Sidney wearing his demonic yellow-crocs (look at my boy, he is a mess):
I can imagine him taking out the trash looking like this during a stressful
Sunday morning
 
Here's a cute gif of Sidney, Sharpy, and Jonny enjoying bike riding in Sochi:
(gif credit: darthtulip.tumblr.com)
 
A gif-set of Kaner and Tazer flirting through text:
"When you put these two parts together it kind of looks like they’re flirting
with each other… :|"
 
Duncs taking a pic of Flower:
 
And last, but not least, my favourite:
Kaner and Sidney shaking hands. How cute are they? Look at those smiles. 
End Notes
     I couldn't bring myself to break up Kazer and the ending felt right
     this way. What did you think about the whole thing?
     This fic is dedicated to all the Sid/Kaner (soft bros) shippers
     (though I'm sure there are only a handful of you out there).
     Many scenes are based on facts (in case you didn't know):
     - Hunter_"Reverend"_Pence's_speeches_are_legendary
     Watch_his_teammates_imitate_him._It's_hilarious_and_you_won't_regret
     it
     - Sidney_Crosby_and_Jack_Johnson_getting_into_trouble_from_time_to
     time,_including_a_dugout-clearing_fight
     - Patrick Kane's favourite subject in school was math (my kind of
     guy)
     - Crosby_is_the_proud_owner_of_college_credits_for_a_World_War_II
     history_course
     - Jonathan Toews tries to convince his teammates to eat healthy, and
     to quote Corey Crawford, who said that Toews has been pushing him to
     eat the way he does, “I’m trying, I’m trying to get into it. He’s
     pushing me into it. It makes sense to eat right. Get the right food
     in, you get the right energy out. I’m listening to most of what he
     says. Tuning out like 20 percent, probably.”
     - Sidney is good at baseball, and even in hockey he can't stop
     scoring baseball-style goals. Watch_him_hit_a_home_run
     - Toews used to suffer from Insomnia during his first two seasons in
     the NHL
     I hope you enjoyed reading this fic as much as I enjoyed writing it.
     Kudos and comments are really appreciated.
     Have a lovely day!
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